Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, February 24, 1991 TAG: 9102250273
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: D-3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Margie Fisher
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
Gee, I miss them, those towers of babble, whose antics I watched up close for 15 years as a statehouse reporter for this newspaper.
At the end of my first session, in 1976, I never thought I'd be saying such a thing. That's the year the assembly's scheduled adjournment went wonderfully awry.
The '76 session started not much differently from the '91 session. Then- Gov. Mills Godwin was trying to deal with sagging state revenues and a projected deficit, and among the actions under consideration were curtailment of aid to local governments and layoffs of state workers. Then, as now, some lawmakers were pushing for a general-obligation bond issue for long-delayed construction projects, and the governor was opposing it.
When the House and Senate convened at 9 a.m. on March 14, 1976, that assembly's scheduled adjournment day, the fate of some of the governor's key budget proposals was still up in the air. Reporters got up their annual sine die pool - betting $1 on the precise time the lawmakers would quit. Foolishly, as I recall, I put my money down on 6:38 p.m. and figured my winnings would pay for a leisurely dinner that evening.
But as darkness settled over the Capitol, the budget battle still raged in both chambers. Their ears no doubt aching from the assault of bellicose verbiage, the presiding officers - then-House Speaker John Warren Cooke and then-Lt. Gov. John Dalton - declared a recess, and told the delegates and senators to get a quick dinner and cool off.
Mistake. Big mistake.
When the honorables eventually ambled back to the chambers from their favorite Richmond watering holes, many were marinated and primed for new decibel levels of debate. Flasks materialized; assembly pages ran marathons to Chicken's snack shop for ice; as the evening wore on to morning, the legislative process was thoroughly stoned. Adjournment did not come until nearly 10 a.m. the next day.
After that famous 25-hour finale - when newspaper and television images captured elected officials asleep at their desks, or wobbly on their feet making slurred speeches - the lawmakers cleaned up their act, more or less. They pulled no more all-nighters while I was there.
Still, for more than 18 regular and special sessions, it seemed the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. The legislators droned on - with their endless supply of mixed metaphors, malapropisms, lip slips, clinkers and tired cliches.
Many of the lawmakers I covered have retired or been booted out by voters, or gone on to higher political office or to that great legislative chamber in the sky. But I suspect those who remain still follow much the same script: biting bullets, opening cans of worms, tightening belts and killing snakes. I hope someone is still collecting such rhetorical gems as these, compiled (though not necessarily in this order) from past sessions:
Sen. Virgil Goode, D-Rocky Mount: "Ah'm against this bill, and Ah'm against this amendment, 'cause it's going to cost money."
Sen. (now Congressman) Frederick Boucher, D-Abingdon: "The best tax is that which falls on somebody else."
Del. Richard Cranwell, D-Vinton: "We do not need all this blood dripping from our hands today. We can leave this little lamb for another day."
Del. Robert Ball, D-Henrico County: "Oh no, no, no, no, no, hell no."
Sen. Madison Marye, D-Montgomery County: "At least pass this bottle bill and send it to the House. You know I very seldom get a bill through the House."
Sen. Dudley Emick, D-Fincastle: "The senator has now hung himself on his own petard."
Del. A. L. Philpott, D-Bassett: "I am in favor of hanging, provided I don't have to watch it."
Del. Clifton Woodrum, D-Roanoke: "They told a lot of lies about me and some of them were true."
Del. Joan Munford, D-Blacksburg: "I would like to take a look at this problem before we sweep it under the rug."
Sen. (now newspaper columnist) Ray Garland, R-Roanoke: "We're just a bunch of good ol' boys having our way in the sandbox of politics."
Del. George Grayson, D-Williamsburg: "I have mixed emotions about this bill, like when your daughter comes home from the senior prom with a Gideon Bible under her arm."
Sen. (now Congressman) Herb Bateman, R-Newport News: "A lot of camels got under the tent with this bill."
Sen. (now Gov.) Douglas Wilder, D-Richmond: "If you fool with a snake you're going to get bit, because that is his nature."
Garland: "The time to throttle the baby is now, while he is still in the cradle."
Emick: "I don't intend to be trapped by no idealistic mumbo-jumbo."
Del. Hardaway Marks, D-Hopewell (introducing women visitors in the House gallery): "This is one of the finest groups of ladies I have ever laid hands on."
Del. Charles Hawkins, R-Chatham: "Mr. Chairman, I am not ashamed of my ignorance. I show it at every opportunity."
Sen. Hunter Andrews, D-Hampton: "If you could see what was going on in the House tonight, Ringling Bros. would not have much of a crowd at the coliseum."
Sen. (now deceased) Edward Willey, D-Richmond: "We are receiving telephone calls on this bill from cousins that we have never heard of before."
Del. (now deceased) Warren Stambaugh, D-Arlington: "Extending the session to deal with the budget is like giving a pistol to a terrorist."
Sen. Joseph Gartlan, D-Fairfax County: "My statement about this session is that I have run out of underwear."
And finally, these classics:
Willey: "We are not dealing with lily-whites on this shoplifting bill." Wilder: "The senator knows how to call a spade a spade."
Willey: "Mr. President, I have not made a deal in the 29 years that I have been in the Senate." Emick: "Mr. President, I move the pending deal."
by CNB