
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, April 19, 1991                   TAG: 9104190086
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: E1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Beth Macy
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Short

GET THIN WITH ELVIS

Admit it. We've seen you reading the supermarket tabloids out of the corner of your eye, pretending you're not really interested in Fergie's thighs or the latest in chicken-faced infants who cluck and crow.

Shame no more, closet Enquirer-heads.

This week's fridaysomething presents the latest in real-life, stranger-than-fiction headlines. Because we know you want to know.

\ "SAUSAGE MISHAP TURNED ME INTO A REAL PORKER": A roly-poly cook was awarded $60,000 after she convinced a judge that her 50-pound weight gain was directly related to a back injury she suffered lifting a crate of sausages (The Sun).

\ "SPEARED BY MY OWN HAND": Maine track runner accidentally pierces stomach with javelin; it popped out of his back (National Enquirer).

\ "I'M A MARRIED LOVE JUNKIE - AND TRYSTS WITH STRANGERS ARE MY FIX": "Dear Meg" advice column (The Star)\

\ "BABY BORN WITH DEAD DAD'S TATTOO; DOCTORS STUNNED BY CLEAR-CUT CASE OF REINCARNATION": It spelled - what else? - M-O-T-H-E-R (The Sun).

by CNB