Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, April 14, 1993 TAG: 9304140007
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: C-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
ROANOKE TAPS INTO GOOD TASTE
When country people come to the city, they invariably comment about the drinking water that comes from the faucet.To a country person's palate, apparently, "city" water stinks of chlorine. It tastes like factory effluent. When you draw it in a clear glass, it's cloudy for a minute until the hideous solvents vaporize.
Likewise, the city visitor to the country home recoils in horror at the kitchen sink - streaks of brown or green stain the porcelain. It clogs the fixtures up with mint-green calcium deposits and it won't rinse shampoo from your hair or soap from your skin.
We're defined by our water.
A few weeks ago, Roanoke sent a sample of its water to a water-tasting contest in Berkeley Springs, W.Va., a place - like roughly half of the towns in our country - which lays some scandalous claim to famous water. Its amazing water gurgles from a spring at the center of town and is "mildly chlorinated," which is like being partially pregnant or quasi-bald.
Berkeley Springs, north of Winchester, invites 12 judges in this shameless bid for free publicity to evaluate the waters.
They judge 16 contestants for appearance, odor, flavor, mouth feel, aftertaste and overall impressions. This would be a difficult task. Never mind the obvious bladder discomfort these judges endure. Is there enough of a difference between city waters to judge them? Wouldn't it be easier and more likely to cause lifelong hard feelings, fistfights and therefore publicity if they judged city water against country water?
Apparently not.
Roanoke drew two gallons of water from Crystal Spring, the font that spouts 3 1/2 million gallons of water daily hard by the foundation of Roanoke Memorial Hospital and the toe of Mill Mountain.
The water, complete with its dose of chlorine and fluoride, was shipped to Berkeley Springs for the big contest and the 12 judges swished and swallowed and pretended there is a real difference among city waters.
Roanoke's water finished sixth of the 16 waters.
The city's downfall appeared to be on aftertaste, where the judges found the water lacking. Or overpowering. Ask about it now and nobody remembers anything about any of the waters. Some contest.
Conspiracy theorists will be happy to learn that Berkeley Springs water captured fourth place. Of the top five finishers, three were from West Virginia. Second place went to Centreville, Va., a burg that wallows directly in the flight path of Dulles International Airport.
The best-tasting water in the entire contest was from Atlantic City, N.J., which won for the second consecutive year. This should forever dispell the notion that water percolated through the dismembered remains of slain organized crime kingpins and carefully blended with seawater doesn't have to taste bad.
My friend Tim, who works in Atlantic City and who tasted the water for me over the phone, described it as "kelp, with just a dash of polyurethane."
Tim has never been to Roanoke and has never tasted the water here. He lives in the country, and so confidently states that our city water is lousy.
But, he quickly adds, we were probably robbed in this contest. Which is what I say.