Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, June 1, 1993 TAG: 9308240758
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Kathleen Wilson
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
The Nixons had that plumbing problem. And Jimmy Carter was terrorized by that killer rabbit. Nancy bought all that exquisite Lenox china that tout le monde knows was absolutely critical - especially since it complemented her red Scaasi evening gowns. Then, of course, there Joan Quigley. (Was she an astrologer or one of these gifted psychics Dionne Warwick is always talking about? I forget.)
The point is, we're here for you. And we want to support you.
Really we do.
Every administration has its own, well, let's call them challenges.
But girlfriend, the girls at Plum Kraz-ee Hair Groove over on Williamson Road got hold of the latest People. You know, the one that shows you and Diane Sawyer with the same hair - only on her it's a do; on you, a don't? Well - remember, you didn't hear this from me, but - I heard Lynne Hill say that she thought you were, well... plum kraz-ee.
``I thought it looked terrible.'' Yes, that's what Lynne said, adding, ``I wouldn't have paid $275 for that. ''
(I didn't catch it all, but I swear I overheard ``sin'' and ``self indulgent'' too.
Linda Nelson of Tangles said she hates it: ``It makes her look older.''
Lorraine Woodford over at the Best Little Hair House in Vinton? ``It makes her look older.''
She swore she could have done the same thing, only better, for just $15.
For the $275 that Frederick Fekkai charged, Lorraine said, ``I could have tanned her, permed her, bleached her, given her a manicure and a total makeover. I would have done her colors, too.''
But, hey, she did say she liked your hats.
If Lynne and Linda and Lorraine aren't reaching you, think about Joan Crawford. She said that ``the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.''
You know, finding a hairdresser isn't much different from that lifelong search for just the right size, style, color and brand of pantyhose. Once you find what you like, then if it ain't broke, don't fix it.''
Christophe will forgive you. And besides, it's not like Frederick is hurting for heads. Besides, were Sigourney Weaver, Meryl Streep and Jane Pauley really proper hair role models for a First Lady?
We think not.
While most of Roanoke's hair authorities recommend you GET CHRISTOPHE BACK - PRONTO, Nancy Dehart of Nancy's in Salem is bored by this whole affair. (Unfortunately, Nancy stands alone.)
``I think this is ridiculous ....It's a change. I like change. And isn't that what [the Clintons] represent to our country?'' asked Nancy.
``If the image of our president - the leader of the most powerful country in the world - isn't worth $200, then what is?'' she declared.
And what about Bill?
Emily Brady of Salem thinks Bill oughta be sitting at the kitchen table, while his mother cuts his hair. ``At least that's the Bill Clinton I thought I was voting for.''
We're sure the only reasonable explanation for spending all that money and tangling up an entire airport is that he had a four-alarm hair emergency.
The sort of hair emergency that required immediate attention. An emergency that 24 hours later would be way beyond the damage control talents of your average barber. I asked around.
Freddie Scaggs over in Salem once had a guy who hadn't had a haircut in three years come in for emergency hair care. ``I had to chop a pile of it off,'' recalled Freddie who said he'd do Bill's hair for $7, just like everyone else.
``And he would have to wait in line, like everyone else too.''i
Other hair crises?
``Once a guy who was runnin' from the law came in here to change his hair color and do anything we could to make him look different,'' offered Jerr Freeman of the Play Pool While You Wait Barber Salon and Game Room on Shenandoah Avenue.
``Jimminy Christmas!'' Sheril Whiteside sputtered. ``Does he have any idea that $200 is two, no three whole days of work for us?!'' She said she'd be happy to do the president's hair for $200.
``I'd keep $7, then hand him back $193 and tell him to apply it towards the deficit.''
Hillary, we recommend you distance yourself from Bill on all future hair issues. His life seems to be much like David Letterman's - just one big never- ending bad hair day. Cut your losses. Travel light. And when future situations like these arise, just ask yourself (or us, of course):
``Just how will this look when Kitty Kelley writes about me?''
by CNB