Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, June 7, 1993 TAG: 9306070016
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: C-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: LESLIE TAYLOR STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
For nearly two years, the Salem resident shared court-ordered custody of his daughter, Megan, who would split her weeks between both parents.
In August, Young's former wife moved from Roanoke to Richmond. He lost his share of custody when a judge decided it would be burdensome for Megan to travel back and forth for visits.
Young's former wife was given full custody.
Young said he was upset - "amazed" more than anything else. Not only had his parental role been eliminated, but his daughter's right to access to both parents had been so easily shoved aside, he said.
"I'm divorced but it doesn't mean I divorced my child," he said. "If people said I had to give up my house, I'd say, `Fine, you can replace those things.' But you can't replace the time spent with your child.
"I have that right and I feel she has that right."
That belief is the basis of a group that works to protect the right of children of fractured families to have both parents - and grandparents, aunts, uncles and any other family members - involved in their lives.
Young founded the Roanoke Valley chapter of the national Children's Rights Council two months ago - part out of his own frustration, part out of an interest in creating an environment where separating or divorcing parents work together to better their children's lives. There are three other chapters in Virginia.
Young calls the group "gender-neutral" and not to be confused with father's rights groups, he says.
"I don't want this to be a gender issue," he said. "I look at it from the point that the child's got rights."
The group serves as an information/support group. But rather than spend hours trading horror stories, Young said, the group will do as other council chapters have done - work to create social and legal framework that eases the divorce process without severing parent-child bonds.
"I've seen situations arise where the children lose a large amount of access to one of the parents, especially in Virginia, where there is a preponderance toward sole custody," said Jerry Guzi, a consultant and member of the council's Roanoke Valley chapter.
"The assumption of sole custody is a winner-take-all situation. One parent gets physical, legal custody and the noncustodial parent becomes someone on the outside looking in," he said.
The council - nationwide - is a proponent of divorce and family mediation. It is an alternative to going to court, where issues concerning visitation, custody, property disbursement and living arrangements are approached through a mutual problem-solving process.
"Many times, it's a better format for resolving disputes," said Miles Hylton, a Roanoke lawyer and member of the council's Roanoke Valley chapter. "The approach is less adversarial. It clearly won't work for everybody."
A legislative bill that allows a judge to order mediation in legal disputes, including those involving child custody and visitation, passed during the last General Assembly session and will become effective July 1.
Children's Rights Council chapters in Virginia supported efforts for passage of the legislation.
"It establishes our mandates that mediation programs be available in all jurisdictions," said Michael Ewing, president of the council's Tidewater chapter. "Courts will have the option of sending parents to mediation."
Young asked for mediation when he appealed the judge's decision in his custody case. He and his former wife could not agree on visitation arrangements.
Young's request for mediation was granted. Under the guidance of a certified mediator, Young worked out an arrangement with his former wife in which he has his daughter two weeks every month.
"It's a whole lot easier to go and work it out," he said. "It's a much better situation."
The council has steered some of its efforts toward legislative change. Several bills supported by Virginia's council chapters regarding child custody and visitation issues were presented during the last General Assembly.
One bill - that in part added a requirement that 30-day advance written notice be given of intention to relocate - passed. Others were either killed in committee or referred for study.
Response to Young's call for membership to the newly formed chapter has been gradual. Attendance at the group's meetings is slowly growing. A charter can be granted once the group has 10 committed members.
"I'm not expecting the world," Young said. "I only want to do what it takes to better the system."
The Children's Rights Council of the Roanoke Valley holds meetings on the first and third Wednesday of each month in the Brodie Room of the Roanoke City Library, 706 Jefferson St., from 7-9 p.m. For more information, contact Barry Young at 389-5824.
by CNB