Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, July 17, 1994 TAG: 9407180118
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV16 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: BECKY HEPLER STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: RADFORD LENGTH: Long
A former client of the Women's Resource Center, she is using a pseudonym for her safety and to lessen the embarrassment her children would suffer if she used her real name. But she is eager to get the word out, let other women know there are ways out of an abusive relationship.
Hope recalled that last violent encounter in July 1993 when her husband of 13 years cursed and yelled at her, finally picking her up and flinging her out into the back yard. She and her three children climbed into the car and drove away.
"All I wanted to do was keep on driving and get as far away as I could," she said. The car, however, had only enough gas to get to Radford. As her mind sorted through options, Hope remembered the Women's Resource Center.
"I don't know what I would have done if the center hadn't been there," she said. "I would have been a woman with three kids living out of my car, because I was not going back."
Hope's story is depressingly familiar. Domestic violence is the single largest cause of injury to women in this country. The murder of O.J. Simpson's wife, Nicole, last month focused a public spotlight on a crime that normally hides behind closed doors.
A concern for battered women spurred creation of the Women's Resource Center in 1977. Seventeen years later, domestic violence still supplies the bulk of its clients. But now, the center's services touch whole families - men and children as well as women.
Executive Director Pat Brown said the two basic populations served are domestic violence victims and sexual assault victims. Services include the shelter, crisis hotlines, crisis interventions, counseling, support groups, transitional programs, information and referral, court information and advocacy.
Last year, over 3,000 clients used these services. There are also community education programs that reached over 5,200 people in 1992-93. While there is a paid staff of 12 full-time and one part-time employees, the center relies heavily upon a corps of 100 volunteers who provide over 81,000 hours of labor. This allows the center to operate a 24-hour crisis hotline, a 24-hour rape companion service and other time-intensive activities.
Hope and her children were one of 130 families, a total of 254 women and children, who used the Women's Resource Center shelter last year. Brown said the numbers are up a bit from past years because, in June 1993, the center opened a new shelter. The new location allows them to house up to 21 people at a time, compared with the previous shelter, which held 14.
While families from the Fourth Planning District, comprising Montgomery, Pulaski, Floyd and Giles counties and Radford, have preference, the center accepts women from anywhere, as long as there is room.
Once within the safe confines of the shelter, the families are offered counseling to deal with the trauma of domestic violence. A fact sheet prepared by the Center for Women Policy Studies shows that 35 percent to 40 percent of all abused women attempt suicide. Hope's story confirms that.
"I have always loved life, loved people, but after so many years of living with his abuse, his domineering, controlling ways, his belittling of me, I really considered killing myself," she said. "I felt so withdrawn from people, like I'd lost myself."
Given this fractured sense of self, Hope found the counseling extremely helpful. "He made me feel like I was the crazy one," she said. "But here were people who were saying that I wasn't."
The shelter offers individual and group counseling as well as support group networks to help victims of domestic violence and rape. There is even a counselor on staff to deal specifically with children.
For the women in the shelter who have decided to make a life away from their battering partner, the center offers transitional services. Sometimes, the help is as basic as something to wear. Many of the women, like Hope, fled with nothing but the clothes on their backs.
"I didn't have anything but an acceptance into Radford University's adult-degree program, so I decided to settle here," she said. The center's referral list helped her find an apartment. People she had met at the center donated furniture. "We also used its clothing bank."
Because the shelter serves people from so many counties, "there are many different sets of social services agencies, both public and private or non-profit, that can help our clients," Brown said. "We have one person on staff who works just on keeping up with all of this."
Another important service is the Victim/Witness Program. Each family works with an advocate who explains the intricacies of the legal system, and domestic relations court in particular, to reduce the intimidation people feel for the courts.
The advocate escorts the client to court to explain what is happening and also intercedes with employers or schools so the client won't lose pay or benefits because of a court appearance. The center also makes sure that clients are aware of legal services available: Legal Aid, Lawyer Referral Services, the Court Services Unit and other community agencies.
Sometimes, even with this help, the woman still does not fare well in legal encounters. One study showed the average prison sentence of men who kill their women partners is 2 to 6 years. Women who kill their partners are sentenced on average to 15 years.
Knowing the hurdles she faced, Hope had spent a great deal of her time at the shelter trying to establish a home for her children and herself. "I did everything I thought I was supposed to do, but they still took my children," she cried, the memory of her husband getting primary custody of their children continuing to haunt her.
"This was a devasting blow that everybody at the shelter experienced," said Mary Beth Pulsifer, domestic violence program coordinator, speaking of Hope's custody verdict. "We felt sure she was going to get the children." Pulsifer did point out that a recent study showed the reason most women get custody is that most fathers do not contest it. "In cases where they [fathers] do contest it, like this one, fathers are surprisingly successful," she said. This is especially true when the fathers, despite the hidden violence of their domestic lives, are considered respectable members of the community.
Pulsifer said one of the goals of the program is to help women deal with these setbacks. "The criminal justice system may not always work out as you want it, but we are trying to show the women other alternatives, so they can learn to protect themselves and to make their lives better."
Hope learned this lesson and used the next seven months to become self-educated about lawyers, the legal system and custody cases while working part-time jobs and going to Radford University. In April, she went back to court and this time won primary custody.
Hope's battle is not done. Still to be settled is her divorce, and she knows that is not going to be easy or without conflict. She knows her children have been scarred by the events and that she will be dealing with the fallout of that for some time. Still, her pseudonym expresses her view for the future.
"I know I'm doing the right thing because every time I run into closed doors, it seems all I have to do is tap and they open," she said. "My faith has been a great deal of strength for me and I have been fortunate enough to meet the right people at the right time who could help me. I know my life is going to be better because it couldn't have gotten any worse."
by CNB