Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, October 3, 1994 TAG: 9411120007
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 4 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: KATHY BOCCELLA KNIGHT-RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
The loss of his computer-programming job 18 months ago sent him home with his 9-month-old son, John, while his wife returned to work as a teacher.
After a few months with no one to talk to except a babbling babe, he went buggy. So he decided to start a newsletter to find others like himself. The response was overwhelming.
``Guys were coming out of the woodwork,'' said Baylies, whose At-Home Dad is a quarterly publication about the unchartered waters of full-time fatherhood, offering child-care tips, personal anecdotes, recipes and ideas for making money at home.
In the first issue of At-Home Dad, one of the KidTips encourages fathers to teach their children to play alone. One father wrote that he left books on the floor for his 14-month-old son to read. ``He was taking the first steps to independence! As he entertained himself for longer periods of time, I enjoyed the extra time. I realized that it is just as important to spend time with your kids as it is to let them expore their world alone also.''
Baylies, 37, who lives in North Andover, Mass., said at-home dads struggle with the same things at-home moms do: boredom and isolation. But men have it rougher, he said, because there are fewer fathers to connect with. The same impulse that keeps men from asking for directions prevents them from reaching out for support as women do.
Baylies decided to go against the male grain and seek out other fathers in his community.
He eventually found a play-group made up entirely of fathers, inspiring him to start the At-Home Dad Network, a nationwide listing of full-time fathers that links up men living in the same area.
Having hung out with both mothers and fathers, Baylies found profound differences in the two.
``I felt the women would be talking about something else if I wasn't there. I had to think about what I was saying. ... And they kept asking me if I wanted anything to eat. With the fathers, we just talked for three hours without eating or drinking anything,'' he said.
And what did they talk about? Football, cars, home repairs?
``Our wives' cleaning habits.''
For More Information:Contact Peter Baylies at 61 Brightwood Ave., North Andover, Mass. 01845.
by CNB