ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, December 21, 1995 TAG: 9512210049
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 2 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: WASHINGTON
SOURCE: TOM SHALES
It is the season of giving, and television continues to give me a pain. But in the spirit of the holidays, let's look on the positive side. Even critics get warmer and cuddlier at this time of year.
So here is a list, thoughtfully compiled, of my personal Top 25 Things on TV - programs, personalities, cable networks, whatever. They're 25 reasons why in spite of everything, I would hate to see TV go. Besides which, if it did, I'd be out of a job. And I have several bad habits to support. One of which is eating.
And now, Le Grand List:
No. 25 - ``The Simpsons,'' still funny after all these years. Plus not a one of 'em has aged a day.
No. 24 - ``Homicide: Life on the Street,'' a better cop show than ABC's ``NYPD Blue'' but bare-buttless and therefore less talked about.
No. 23 - ``Columbo'' reruns on the Arts & Entertainment Network. That rumpled oaf in the rumpled coat still puts most other TV sleuths to shame.
No. 22 - Dan Rather, the best and hardest-working anchor of them all, and he has the best hair, too.
No. 21 - Lynn Russell, the cheeringest, friendliest, easily most lovable newscaster on the CNN Headline News Network.
No. 20 - MTV's Beavis and Butt-Head, though not in that order. Butt-Head is funnier and has a certain je ne sais quoi.
No. 19 - David Brinkley. He's dependable, solid, venerable, smart, wary, sly and savvy, and he talks in nice short sentences.
No. 18 - Mentos commercials. I've never tasted a Mento, never even seen one, but those hokey, corny ads with the sunny European kids are always a pick-me-up.
No. 17 - ``Seinfeld.'' Jerry Seinfeld & Company are not as good as ever, they are better than ever, with a batting average that's the highest of any sitcom on TV.
No. 16 - Jennifer Aniston, by far the cutest cutie on ``Friends'' and the only one who looks like she'd be a good friend in real life, too. However, she never answers my letters.
No. 15 - ``The Larry Sanders Show.'' Its short season on HBO is over again, and it's in reruns, but it's still the tartest and smartest of TV comedies.
No. 14 - ``Mystery Science Theater 3000,'' a shadow of its former self, and apparently in its last season on crummy Comedy Central, but an inspired original, magically turning bad old movies into fresh new lunacy.
No. 13 - Hootie and the Blowfish, and all the videos thereby. A viewer-friendly and listener-friendly rock group.
No. 12 - Mary Matalin, who talks without moving her lips but whose mind is never at rest, on CNBC's ``Equal Time.''
No. 11 - OPRAH, now and forever, America's real first lady.
No. 10 - Conan O'Brien, who has gone from being the dullest thing on late-night TV to one of the most consistently amusing.
No. 9 - Barbara Walters, now more than ever the undisputed champ among network interviewers. As unstoppable as molten lava.
No. 8 - Katie Couric, biggest asset of NBC's ``Today'' show. The best part of waking up is not Folger's in your cup. The best part of waking up is waking up. And the second best part is Katie Couric.
No. 7 - Wendy Kaufman, the Snapple lady, soon to be phased out as company spokeswoman, but always a pleasure to encounter.
No. 6 - ``I Love Lucy'' reruns on Nick at Nite. Who says you can't go home again?
No. 5 - ``Talk Soup'' with John Henson on E! Entertainment Television. More likable and inventive by far than previous host Greg Kinnear, Henson has the perfect attitude for rummaging through the grisly detritus of daytime talk shows.
No. 4 - Turner Classic Movies (TCM), the best cable channel in the known universe.
No. 3 - Regis! Regis! Regis! (Philbin, Philbin, Philbin, that is). He's the same every day: Great.
No. 2 - The DSS home satellite dish, because it brings you all those unbearable and asinine TV shows in crystal clarity and super stereo sound.
And the No. 1 thing I love about television, in spite of everything, no matter how ornery or giggly he is, nor how often I feel like giving him a poke in the chops, or maybe a pow in the kisser, the one, the only, the ineffable, the inimitable, and the sometimes insufferable ... David Letterman!
And to all, a good night.
- Washington Post Writers Group
LENGTH: Medium: 85 linesby CNB