ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, January 18, 1996 TAG: 9601180021
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: LOS ANGELES
SOURCE: BOB THOMAS ASSOCIATED PRESS
George Burns has triumphed in vaudeville, radio, movies, television, music, nightclubs and books. Now he faces what may be his greatest achievement: his 100th birthday.
It doesn't happen until Saturday, but Burns' centennial was celebrated Tuesday with a gala dinner to salute his remarkable life and his contributions to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, sponsor of the event.
Sidelined by the flu, Burns missed the bash, but his humor is intact.
He said in a statement: ``As this big day came closer and closer, people kept asking me what I would like for my 100th birthday. What do you give a man who's been so blessed? Another 100 years? A night with Sharon Stone?''
So grateful is the medical center that the adjoining streets have been named George Burns Road and Gracie Allen Drive, in tribute to his late wife.
Though his joke-telling days are over, his legacy is as brilliant as the one-liners that endeared him to generations.
This is a good month for Burns. His 10th book, ``A Hundred Years - A Hundred Stories,'' will be in bookstores. It's a collection of his favorite stories about famous friends.
Burns always has delighted in tweaking those he loved the most. He once told a story about Jack Benny, his closest friend. Benny could make the world laugh and Burns was one of the few people who could make Benny laugh:
``Louis B. Mayer once introduced Jeanette MacDonald at a dinner party and she sang `Indian Love Call'; she was just a young starlet.
``After dinner, they put two rows of chairs around the table and Gracie and me, and Mary [Livingston] was with Jack, we all sat down. Before she sang, I leaned over the chair and said to Jack, `When this charming girl sings that song, if you're going to start to laugh, it's going to be very rude.'
``She no sooner opened her mouth, he fell on the floor. They had to carry him out of the room. You see, I wasn't the only one who made him laugh. Jeanette MacDonald made him laugh. And `Indian Love Call' was a very funny song.''
Burns last performed at Caesar's Tahoe in Nevada in June 1994. He had been booked for a host of appearances across the country, but they were canceled after he fell in his bath tub at home and sustained head injuries.
``He did an hour show, 55 minutes to an hour,'' remarks Burns' longtime manager Irving Fein. ``It's tough to remember all that, even if you're 50 years old.''
Among the bookings that had to be canceled was Caesar's in Las Vegas on his 100th birthday. Three nights at $100 a ticket sold out in a week - a year and a half before the date. Two more nights were added, and they sold out.
Does Burns miss performing?
``Of course,'' Fein said. ``His whole life was performing, he couldn't wait to get out on that stage. Some days, he'd be exhausted and tired. As soon as he walked on and got that standing ovation, which he did every time, and got the laugh from the first joke, he was young again.''
Fein said Burns goes every weekday morning to the office he has maintained at a mid-Hollywood studio for four decades. He stays about 45 minutes to take care of minor business matters and schmooze with his associates, then takes off for Hillcrest Country Club - site of the famous Comedians' Round Table. He eats a spartan lunch and plays bridge, sometimes as long as two hours, or a half-hour if he's not feeling well.
Burns, who uses a wheelchair most of the time, retires to his Beverly Hills home, takes a nap, dines (he has always been a light eater) and sometimes watches a little television before bedtime. Every Thursday and often on Sunday, he goes out to a restaurant. He still enjoys a Bloody Mary at lunch and a few martinis at dinner.
And, of course, the cigars.
``He still smokes,'' reports Hal Goldman, Burns' gag and book writer for 17 years, ``though not as many as he did before. He used to smoke 10 or 12 a day. Now, he's down to seven or eight.
``He doesn't inhale, you know.''
Goldman spends the office time with Burns some days, and he has observed the gradual slowdown of the comedian's energies.
``He doesn't talk as much,'' Goldman said. ``He used to be quite verbal, especially when people came into the office. Now he'll say stuff, but a minimum. He seems to be conserving his energy.''
George Burns was born Nathan Birnbaum on Jan. 20, 1896, in New York City, one of 12 children. He started singing at the age of 7 in Lower East Side saloons with neighbor boys who comprised the Peewee Quartet.
``I went into show business when I was 8 years old,'' he said. ``I never went to school. My teacher was Miss Oliver, and she came to my house. My mother knocked on my door and said, `Miss Oliver would like to see you.' My mother slammed the front door and hollered up to me, `Miss Oliver is gone.' I came out and Miss Oliver was still sitting there.
``My school was show business. I quit school after the fourth grade. I wish I had a better education, but I know all about show business.''
He knocked around in vaudeville, mostly with failed acts, until he met Gracie Allen in 1922. They formed a sure-fire act that lasted 36 years. Gracie, who never shared her husband's love of performing, retired in 1958. She died just six years later.
``When Gracie left the act, I had to go into show business,'' Burns remarked in a 1986 interview with The Associated Press. ``I was retired when I worked with Gracie. All I said was, `How's your brother?' and that would start her off.''
Burns' assessment was inaccurate. As with great straight men like Bud Abbott and Dean Martin, George was an invaluable partner. His superb timing led him to even greater heights as a solo.
He also made an impressive mark as an actor. He and Gracie appeared in some film musicals in the 1930s, including ``A Damsel in Distress,'' in which they danced with Fred Astaire.
After a 35-year absence from the screen and a year after open heart surgery, Burns returned in ``The Sunshine Boys,'' winning the 1975 Academy Award for best supporting actor. He followed that two years later with another hit, ``Oh God!''
In 1988, he published the best-selling book ``Gracie: A Love Story.'' And in 1991, at the age of 85, he won his Grammy for the best spoken-word recording for excerpts from ``Gracie: A Love Story.''
Films and TV specials kept him busy until July 1994, when he fell at home. Two months later, he underwent surgery to have fluid buildup drained from his brain. Last year, he was forced back to the hospital because of the fall and his Palace party was canceled.
In his late years, Burns found sure-fire material for his nightclub monologues: his age.
``I'm 99,'' he told his audience. ``I feel just as good as I did last year when I was 98. ...
``I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. ...
``It's been a great life, and I hope the second half is just as exciting.''
During an interview Burns was asked, ``Mr. Burns, is it true you go out with young girls?''
``True.''
``Is it true you drink martinis every day?''
``True.''
``Is it true you smoke 10-15 cigars a day?''
``True.''
``What does your doctor say about this?''
``He's dead.''
George Burns has delighted us all for an unprecedented 92 years. He was the patient husband, confounded yet somehow charmed by his wife's silliness. Later, he was totally convincing as a cranky old vaudevillian or a whimsical deity.
But his most memorable role was as George Burns, crafty and hilarious, the kind of foxy grandpa all of us wish we had.
LENGTH: Long : 142 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: AP. 1. The prerennial entertainer, George Burns, turnsby CNB100 on Saturday. color. 2. Burns, Gracie Allen (left) and Mel Blanc
(right) during a broadcast of 'The Burns and Allen Show" in 1946. KEYWORDS: PROFILE