ROANOKE TIMES 
                      Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times

DATE: Sunday, June 30, 1996                  TAG: 9606280029
SECTION: BUSINESS                 PAGE: 2    EDITION: METRO 
COLUMN: WORKING IT OUT
SOURCE: CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER


FIELDING COMPLAINTS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE CONFRONTATIONAL

Q. When customers come to me with complaints, I knot up. Inevitably, I become defensive. I know this isn't right, but I always feel attacked.

A. You should be able to resolve nearly every complaint feeling that the customer, the company, and you were well-served - if you focus on listening, understanding the customer's viewpoint and creating a provider/customer partnership.

Common to all complaints is the need to feel heard. Adopt active listening behavior. Rephrase and restate the problem to the customer; ask if your understanding is correct. Ask questions.

Adopt the position that you're in partnership to solve the problem to the satisfaction of both. This mental shift forces you from a defensive to a collaborative position.

Offer sympathy. Saying "I'm sorry you had a problem with X" costs you nothing, yet gains are considerable in defusing problems and increasing good will.

Then work toward mutually agreeable solutions.

For those very few cases where a customer can't be satisfied, introduce the customer to a manager and let him or her take over.

Few customers have taken seminars on how to effectively present complaints; however, every service provider should be skilled at making customers feel like winners. Forming partnerships is one of the surest ways to reach success.

Q. I'm fed up with people bringing children into my business. In the past week, I've put up with screaming babies, destructive toddlers and nonstop whining for attention. Is there any way to stop to these business interruptions?

A. If you're dealing with an infant, there's not much to be done beyond offering to speed service or hold the child while the parent handles business matters.

Otherwise, there are three possible ways to deal with disruptive children: Ask the parent's help, distract the child, or engage the child in conversation.

For overly active children, tell parents you're having trouble focusing because you fear the child will harm him or herself. Asking for help usually prompts parents to attend to the child.

If that fails, keep inexpensive toys in your drawer. Ask the parent's permission to give one to the child. A new toy usually distracts a child long enough for transactions to be completed.

If the child is old enough, talk to him or her. Whining occurs as a means of getting attention. Engage the child. Ask questions about favorite cartoons and favorite games. Make conversation. Excuse yourself from the conversation to return to work, as you would with an adult. Most children like the attention enough to improve their behavior - hoping for more such attention.

Treating children as future customers improves their behavior, endears you to parent-customers and reduces your stress.

When you see well-behaved children, compliment them on their manners. You'll both reinforce and reward the children for their performance.

Q. It's rumored one of my employees is in the middle of a messy divorce. Would that account for his recent and unexpected tantrums over minor issues, incomplete reports and other unusual behavior? Should I talk with him about the divorce?

A. Your employee's private life is just that. Disregard the rumor mill. But, don't ignore the behavior. While it's inescapable that personal lives will sometimes spill over to the workplace, poor performance and attitudes remain unacceptable.

Focus on behaviors which affect you, his co-worker, and the business.

For example, following the next outburst, talk privately with him. Note this tantrum is unlike him. Mention the impact it had on others. Suggest that when he's feeling frustrated he take a walk, talk with you, or self-impose a time-out. Keep your tone as kind as possible.

Don't rehash earlier tantrums or other earlier performance issues. Deal only with the behavior as it happens - each time. If the infractions don't cease, have a more serious discussion.

If appropriate, suggest counseling. Few employers have counseling training; attempting to help with personal problems often does more harm than good. It's more helpful to suggest to an employee that "if there are personal problems affecting performance, seeing a counselor usually helps sort out problems."

Private lives should, largely, be separate from the workplace. Most appreciate the separation. Underscore the need for professionalism while demonstrating concern through your attitude and your suggestion of counseling as a way of dealing with pressing problems.

Camille Wright Miller, an organizational behavior sociologist who works in Lexington, answers questions from our readers about workplace issues. Please send them to her in care of The Roanoke Times, Business News Department, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke 24010.


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by CNB