THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Wednesday, December 14, 1994 TAG: 9412140045
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E7 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Craig Shapiro
LENGTH: Long : 109 lines
REGULAR READERS, and after nine months of this thing there must be - what? - 31 of you, are familiar with the Videomatic Renting Rules:
No. 1. Don't know the star? Rent the tape.
No. 2. Does a has-been play second fiddle? Rent the tape.
For you irregular readers, the VRR were developed to help those folks who go to the video store looking for something less than meaningful. Like a cheap thrill. A yuk. Or simply to see how far people will go to be in the movies (i.e., Jane Fonda in ``Barbarella,'' Jessica Lange in ``King Kong'').
Good news. Today, we're adding another signpost:
No. 3. Is it a Full Moon production? Rent the tape.
This won't be news to those of you who've prowled the horror/sci-fi aisles for the latest from Charles Band's outfit, but it's like when England's Hammer Studios cranked them out. Seems there's always a new ``Subspecies'' or ``Trancers'' title. And I'll admit it: I loved ``Meridian: Kiss of the Beast.'' Sherilyn Fenn and a guy in a mail-order werewolf costume? Priceless.
Lately, though, Full Moon has turned it up. ``Lurking Fear'' and ``Dark Angel: The Ascent,'' both released this summer, were good yarns with better than decent production values. ``Dark Angel'' especially showed a knack for balancing horror and humor that paid off with the more recent ``Shrunken Heads,'' a truly twisted tale helmed by Richard Elfman (``Forbidden Zone'').
But the capper is ``Oblivion'' (1994, Paramount), being released today.
In this one, the peacenik son (Richard Joseph Paul) of a slain sheriff reluctantly returns to his hometown to avenge Dad's demise. So far, your standard Western, except it's 3031 and the bad guys are led by Red-Eye (Andrew Divoff) - a surly lizard-man who wears an eyepatch.
``Oblivion'' gleefully trots out every cliche - the widowed shopkeeper, the sexy saloon owner, the loyal deputy (Meg Foster as a RoboCop-like cyborg). Paul plays straight man to the rest of the cast, including Julie Newmar as Miss Kitty (get it, ``Batman'' fans?) and Issac Hayes.
The biggest laughs, though, go to ``Star Trek's'' George Takei. He's the town doctor who blames himself for the sheriff's death. A promise: When he holds up a bottle of rotgut and drunkenly slurs, ``Jim, Beam me up,'' and later screams, ``Damn Estelle, I'm a doctor, not a magician,'' so will you.
Tongue in cheek? This bunch better be careful when they swallow.
On top of all that, there are some cool FX. The giant, stop-action scorpions that patrol the badlands are straight from the Ray Harryhausen school.
``Oblivion'' (PG-13 for language, violence) isn't for everyone. But as B movies go, it's pretty darned close to an A.
TOP TAPES (in Billboard):
Sales: ``Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,'' ``Speed,'' ``Jurassic Park,'' ``The Flintstones,'' ``The Nightmare Before Christmas''
Rentals: ``Speed,'' ``The Flintstones,'' ``Guarding Tess,'' ``City Slickers II,'' ``When a Man Loves a Woman''
The Couch Report
``Blown Away'' (1994, MGM/UA). Jeff Bridges' come-and-go brogue aside, this actioner's main problem is timing: It's out there with ``Speed.'' Bridges is a bomb-squad lieutenant chasing a terrorist - Tommy Lee Jones at his scenery-chomping best - around Boston. Seems they fought on the same side back in Ireland. All the chatter about absolution gets tedious, but the cinematography and action sequences are top-notch. If the movie doesn't quite ignite, it's not nearly the dud it's been made out to be.
(CAST: Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jones, Forest Whitaker, Suzy Amis. RATED: R for language, violence)
``Belle Epoque'' (1993, Columbia TriStar). The '93 foreign film Oscar-winner doesn't have the heft of ``Farewell My Concubine''; instead, it's a lusty romp set in tumultuous 1930 Spain. A soldier deserts, is taken in by an artist, then romances, and is romanced by, his four daughters. There's something here about the political climate and personal freedom. Why dwell on that? These full-blooded characters are plenty engaging. (Spanish with English subtitles.)
(CAST: Jorge Sanz, Fernando Fernan Gomez, Penelope Cruz, Maribel Verdu. RATED: R for situations, brief nudity, language, violence)
``I Love Trouble'' (1994, Touchstone). Except for wit, chemistry and suspense, here's a comedy with it all. Nick Nolte is a Chicago newspaper columnist called back to the front when he's scooped by cub reporter Julia Roberts. Don't need a map to follow this one. Besides star incompatibility - this isn't William Powell and Myrna Loy by any stretch - the film can't juggle romance and mystery. As a result, it ends up being neither.
(CAST: Julia Roberts, Nick Nolte, Saul Rubinek, Robert Loggia. RATED: PG for language, violence)
``Baby's Day Out'' (1994, FoxVideo). Gotta hand it to John Hughes. He can take that ``Home Alone'' premise and rework it into any story. This time, a trio of bumbling kidnappers endure all kinds of abuse as they chase a 9-month-old boy through Chicago. It's colorful and cleverly edited, though nothing Max Fleischer didn't do 60 years ago when he had Popeye baby-sit Swee'pea. The real treat is Joe Mantegna's comic turn as the head hood.
(CAST: Joe Mantegna, Lara Flynn Boyle, Joe Pantoliano. RATED: PG for cartoonish violence)
Also: The late John Candy and Richard Lewis in ``Wagons East!'' (PG-13); ``The Wedding Gift,'' the lauded comedy-drama starring Julie Walters and Jim Broadbent (PG-13); ``Ernest Goes to School,'' more silliness from Jim Varney (no rating); Sissy Spacek and Joan Plowright in the drama ``A Place for Annie'' (PG); ``Blind Justice,'' an actioner with Armand Assante (R); ``Direct Hit,'' a thriller with William Forsythe (R); ``Cage II: The Arena of Death,'' a second helping with Lou Ferrigno (no rating), and ``Relentless 4,'' another sequel with Leo Rossi (R)
Next Wednesday: ``The Client,'' ``Spanking the Monkey,'' ``Lassie,'' ``Sherlock: Undercover Dog,'' ``Eyes of a Witness,'' ``Fast Getaway II,'' ``The Silence of the Hams,'' ``Tammy and the T-Rex'' ILLUSTRATION: Photo by PARAMOUNT
Andrew Divoff, right, is an extra-terrestrial bad guy in
``Oblivion,'' and Musetta Vander is his henchwoman.
by CNB