THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, January 7, 1995 TAG: 9501070051
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E1 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Column
SOURCE: Larry Maddry
LENGTH: Medium: 89 lines
EVEN TODAY, WITH ALL the Christmas gifts scattered around her, 2-year-old Darya uses her hands more than most children, playfully fluttering her fingers before her brown eyes.
There's a reason why, her mother says.
``In the Russian orphanage where we got her, there weren't many toys for the children,'' she said. ``I think that's how she amused herself.''
That has all changed for Darya now, since she and her new brother, Stopa, 6, adopted at the same Russian orphanage, boarded a commercial jet in Moscow with their new parents last September.
Today they are living a new life in a middle-class suburb of Chesapeake, surrounded by luxuries most Russian children only read and dream about.
The adopting parents, Tim and Arlene Redmer are both in their forties. And they already had two teenage children: Luke, 16, and Matt, 18.
They had reached the time in life when most parents look forward to going out more and pursuing their own interests as their children approach maturity.
So why adopt more children? And why go all the way to Russia to do it?
``It had probably been in our hearts a long time,'' Arlene said. Before marriage, she had been a social worker in a home for children who were temporarily separated from their parents or were candidates for adoption.
Arlene and her husband, Tim, a teacher of accounting and finance at Regent University, take their religion seriously. ``We have been so blessed by the Lord,'' she said. ``I think he put this desire to help the children in our hearts. And it just intensified.''
But adoption was more difficult than they thought.
They found their age, and the fact that they already had children, were strikes against them as they tried to adopt in this country.
Then they heard about World Child Inc., an international adoption and child welfare agency in Washington, D.C.
Through the agency, they learned of two children, both under 2 years old with physical problems, who were available for adoption in Rostov-On-Don Orphanage - about 600 miles from Moscow.
The Redmers filled out the necessary papers and contacted Operation Smile about the possibility of operations to correct the children's deformities.
``We knew we would have to pay $12,000 to get the children,'' Tim said. ``But some of the other requirements were. . . well, a little unusual. . . . The money had to be in U.S. currency. New hundred dollar bills with no folds in them or any corners missing.''
Anything else?
``Yes,'' Tim said. ``We were told to take gifts. So we packed two suitcases with pens, calculators, silk scarves and stockings, towel sets, watches and other items.'' Those items were to be given to various officials by a coordinator who would see that they were distributed to the right people.''
``The Russian economy is in ruins,'' Arlene explained. ``They need money to operate the orphanages.
They were hit with bad news soon after their arrival on Aug. 21 of last year.
``When we arrived at the town of Rostov, we were told that one of the children we had hoped to adopt was too ill to go with us,'' Arlene said. And the second child who was to be adopted proved to have a personality disorder.
Would they be interested in other children at the orphanage?
Yes, they said.
They toured the orphanage and finally chose Darya - who was underweight and suffering from rickets - and Stopa, a bright and handsome youngster who is a fast learner. Both children had been abandoned at a maternity hospital.
``The children didn't get out of the orphanage much,'' Tim said. ``We took walks with Stopa outside the orphanage, and he picked up bits of bright paper off the streets as keepsakes.''
Before leaving Moscow for the trip to the United States, Stopa repeatedly went to the water fountains in the terminal for a drink. ``He had never seen a water fountain before and was fascinated,'' Tim recalled.
Luke and Matt have had little trouble adjusting to the new members of the family, they say.
Darya no longer has rickets and has gained weight. And Stopa is becoming more Americanized every day, using words like ``OK'' and ``all riiiight,'' and dressing in sweat togs and sneakers.
The Redmers consider themselves blessed.
``Adoption isn't for everybody,'' Arlene said. ``It has to be in your heart. But if it is. . . I say go for it!''
Even if you have to go 4,700 miles. ILLUSTRATION: MARTIN SMITH-RODDEN/Staff
The Redmerrs with their adopted children, Daniel and Ruth.
by CNB