THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, March 30, 1996 TAG: 9603300325
SECTION: LOCAL PAGE: B3 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY ALISON BOLOGNA, STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: HAMPTON LENGTH: Medium: 92 lines
It's hard enough to say goodbye to your daughter when she is deploying to Jordan for three months, but it's even harder when your daughter's ex-husband is also leaving the country and you've become the sole caretaker of their two young children.
Nevertheless, Carolyn McGee, 58, the mother of Technical Sgt. Tamara Cumbey, said she'll meet the challenge.
With a purse full of neatly wrapped gifts over her shoulder, a camera in her hand and tears in her eyes, McGee brought Justin, 6, and Jordan, 2, to the hangar early Friday morning at Langley Air Force Base to bid farewell to their mother.
``I have to be strong,'' McGee said. ``I have to remember that Tammy is devoted to her job. I hope and pray for her safe return, but if something happens, I would always have to remember that she is doing what she wants to do.''
Cumbey is a team chief in Operation Southern Watch, a mission aimed at establishing an air combat support structure in the Middle East. The mission, according to 2nd Lt. Patricia Lang, a Langley spokeswoman, is meant to enforce United Nations resolutions stemming from the Persian Gulf War.
About 50 members of the 1st Fighter Wing left with Cumbey on Friday morning to serve as a host unit for an Airpower Expeditionary Force that will include about 1,000 people and 34 aircraft.
``I'm one of the people who will get off with the equipment and lay out the site,'' Cumbey said. ``There's nothing there now, so we'll tap the wells, grade the soil and set up a tent city.''
But according to Cumbey, that's not the real challenge.
``This is going to be hard,'' she said. ``I'm torn because of the children. It's a guilt thing. I'm excited to go, but I don't think I should be.''
``I'm in a unique position because I have my mother to take care of my kids,'' she said.
Initially, however, Cumbey's mother was not looking forward to the deployment.
``She was scared because she knows I won't be far from hazard, next to Iraq and suicide bombings in Israel,'' Cumbey said. ``But when my mom sees me and my anticipation, she gets that go-for-it, pump-it-up attitude because she's my mom.''
Despite its dangers, her daughter's job has saved their relationship, McGee said.
``Joining the Air Force was the best thing Tammy could have done,'' McGee said. ``There was a time when we didn't get along, when I didn't even like her. But now she's my best friend.''
And Cumbey's deployment was timely, McGee added.
``This couldn't have come at a better time,'' she said. ``I'm single and out of work, so staying at my daughter's house will help me out.''
But obstacles and anxieties still remain.
``I know this will be frustrating at times,'' McGee said. ``I worry about what the kids will be feeling inside, and I'm aware that they may need something more than me.''
``I'm going to have to adjust to being a parent again,'' she said.
The night before the deployment, the kids were upset because they had to give away their cat and they were beginning to realize that their parents were leaving, McGee said.
Cumbey cut 12 inches of her hair off last week in preparation for the trip - she calls it her ``desert do'' - and Thursday night, amid a roomful of bulging duffel bags, she was busy sewing her stripes on her uniform.
``I shudder to think what would happen if she doesn't come back,'' McGee said while looking at her daughter. ``How would I tell the kids? I keep telling them Mommy is coming back, but what if she doesn't?''
McGee attended a support meeting at Langley on Monday night to help sort out her fears. She said meeting other families made her feel better about the upcoming months.
``I was impressed with the way the Air Force is trying to improve family support systems - even though I was the only grandmother,'' she said.
Support programs for homefront families include The Handyperson Network, which has volunteers who help with car repairs, yard work and other miscellaneous chores, as well as the Air Force Aid Society and the Child Development Center.
McGee knows she will have plenty of work.
``This will be a real challenge,'' she said. ``It won't be a bed of roses, but it will have its rewards. I'll keep Tammy's kids healthy and happy for when she gets back.'' ILLUSTRATION: RICHARD L. DUNSTON\The Virginian-Pilot
Carolyn McGee, 58, will be taking care of Jordan, left, and Justin
Cumbey while their mother is deployed to Jordan for the next few
months. ``I know this will be frustrating at times,'' McGee said,
but, she said, she's ready for the task.
KEYWORDS: DEPLOYMENT by CNB