The Virginian-Pilot
                             THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT 
              Copyright (c) 1996, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: Friday, June 28, 1996                 TAG: 9606280046
SECTION: DAILY BREAK             PAGE: E14  EDITION: FINAL 
SOURCE: BY MAL VINCENT, MOVIE CRITIC 
                                            LENGTH:   48 lines

``A MIDWINTER'S TALE'' CHILLS COMIC INTENT

``A MIDWINTER'S TALE'' is a comedy waiting to happen, a delightful idea that gets a regrettably heavy-handed and melodramatic treatment. After ``Peter's Friends,'' a floperoo comedy, it leaves one wondering if director Kenneth Branagh (Shakespeare's best movie friend) really has a sense of humor when he gets beyond ``Much Ado About Nothing.'' That film, with the help of ex-wife Emma Thompson, was very funny.

``A Midwinter's Tale'' would more appropriately go under its former title, ``In the Bleak Midwinter.'' It concerns a makeshift production of Shakespeare's ``Hamlet'' staged by a bunch of British misfits and out-of-work actors in an abandoned rural church. Bad productions of ``Hamlet,'' of which I've seen quite a few, can, indeed, be supremely funny. Here, the audience is urged to laugh out loud but is given such a heavy load of suffering and trauma that one wonders if we shouldn't wear a shroud rather than a grin.

Cast largely with unknowns, except for the always-flamboyant Joan Collins, the film is in black and white.

There are dizzy actresses, who talk a great deal about their use of ``space.'' There is a male who plays Queen Gertrude. There is a female who volunteers to play Hamlet. All in all, Branagh, who both wrote and directed but does not appear, depends much too heavily on the theory that we will find any irreverence toward the Bard worthy of belly laughs.

For the right way to mix theatrical comedy and drama, Branagh might take a look at ``The Dresser.''

Collins literally phones in her performance, as an agent who is constantly dealing.

Among the things we learn is that if an actor forgets his lines in a Shakespeare production, he can always get by by saying ``Crunch we here awhile and lurk.''

In the end, the only consistently funny thing in the film is a witty ballad sung by the late Sir Noel Coward in the background. It asks, ``Why should the show go on? Why not make a closing night of it?''

Sir Noel is not the only one who will be wondering. MEMO: MOVIE REVIEW

``A Midwinter's Tale''

Cast: Michael Maloney, Joan Collins, Richard Briers, Mark Hadfield

Director and Writer: Kenneth Branagh

MPAA rating: R (language)

Mal's rating: 1 1/2 star

Location: Naro in Norfolk by CNB