Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, March 7, 1990                   TAG: 9003071641
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: C1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: ed shamy
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

BLACKSBURG HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS

Hmmm. This will not work very well at all, will it? You can't read this with your eyes closed.

Let's start all over.

Imagine you are in Roanoke and you need to go to Blacksburg.

Do you tell your friend that you are going down to Blacksburg? Over to Blacksburg? Up to Blacksburg? Or out to Blacksburg?

Likewise from the New River Valley, do you go up to, down to, over to or even back to Roanoke?

"All of those are proper," says Robert Morrill, the head of Virginia Tech's geography department.

Because gravity works the way it does - if you want to know more, go ask your mother - maps hang from top to bottom, north near the ceiling, south near the floor.

And so we refer to "up north" and "down south." Complex thoughts like these separate homo sapiens from sea cucumbers.

"When you say you're going down to Blacksburg, you're making a reference to driving north and south on Interstate 81," says Morrill. "Actually, Blacksburg is more west of Roanoke than it is south."

Those who realize that Blacksburg is west of Roanoke may say they're going back to Roanoke or out to Blacksburg.

But, warns Morrill, "going out somewhere can convey remoteness." We need no subtle jabs between the New River and Roanoke valleys.

Of course, lots of people in Roanoke go up to Blacksburg.

Too stingy to spring for premium unleaded gasoline, these are travelers who hear the engine knock as they drive up Christiansburg Mountain. Roanoke is about 940 feet above sea level; Blacksburg, about 2,100.

Conversely, you would go from Blacksburg down to Roanoke.

"I suppose there is no geographic answer to this," admits Mark Miller, an associate professor of history and geography at Roanoke College.

We must resolve the thorny issue before a new highway is built between Blacksburg and Roanoke. Or between Christiansburg and Blacksburg. Or, inadvertently, between Shawsville and Galax.

Which brings us to the First-Ever Register-Your-Opinion- -With-Your-Local-Columnist- on-an-Issue-of-Crushing- Social-and-Economic-Importance Sweepstakes.

Send your entry to me. Write down whether you go up to Roanoke, down to Blacksburg, out to lunch, etc.

Include your initials and your hometown and any comments you may have.

Example: Dear Ed, I am from Ironto and I go through to Roanoke. What's it to you? A.Z.

Mail your ballot to me, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke 24010.

I will tabulate the results and report back to you. Our findings will be binding. Violators will be exiled to Eagle Rock.

Please hurry. Mail your card today - otherwise, the new road may be completed before your ballot reaches me.

I am up here, awaiting the reader's choice down over yonder.