Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, March 11, 1990                   TAG: 9003122960
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: F-3   EDITION: METRO  
SOURCE: MARSHALL FISHWICK
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Long

A POET'S PERSPECTIVE

That will be for laywers to decide and historians to evaluate. Whatever the outcome, we might turn to someone with a very different perspective; one that universalizes our local dilemma. If, as Shelley insisted, poets are the legislators of the world, why not consult a poet?

I call upon Robert Bly, whose recent PBS television program, `A Gathering of Men," has won widespread praise. Earlier books of poetry - with titles such as "The Woman Who Lives Forever," "In the Month of May," "Old Man Rubbing His Eyes" and "Jumping Out of Bed: Poems" - had been noted mainly by that small band of readers who enjoy poetry from small presses. Now Bly is becoming a major spokesman, and his new book of poems ("American Poetry: Wildness and Domesticity") will be published by Harper & Row.

Bly would argue that we have to go back much farther than New Market or Little Big Horn to understand what has happened to the male psyche. Try the English Midlands in the Industrial Revolution, which yanked men from home and farm and put them in the mines, mills and factories to work cruel hours for pitiful wages. For centuries men had trained their sons to hunt, fish, and farm. No more. Now child rearing and child "bonding" would be largely female.

Since the dawn of history, males had initiated young males into skills and rituals. No more. Now "Dad" comes home, worn out from fierce male competition; tells his sons to "clean up your room" and "do what your mother says," and stares at the tube hoping to catch a ball game.

So who does initiate the young males? Schoolteachers (often female), fraternities or Army sergeants. Those who don't end up in the Army or in college take to the streets. The gang does the initiation. Much of urban America is plagued, if not controlled, by young male gangs.

What about "Dad?" In many families, there is none. In a decade, according to one estimate, half our families will be single-parent. Instead of rescuing "Dad," our society tends to reject him, even ridicule him.

Observe the male in TV sitcoms and commercials. He is an impotent bumbler. His wife has to tell him what soap to use, what cereal to eat, how to get rid of a cold. One reason the Bill Cosby show has done so well is that we finally have, in Cosby, a father who knows more than his wisecracking children.

Psychologists have tried to explain this male-as-dormat stereotype. Since men can't mix feelings and words as well as women, some have said, men are "not in touch with their feelings," and give up on child-rearing and sharing. They establish old-boy networks. They turn to hunting, drinking, "playing around." They vote against the Equal Rights Amendment and consider feminists their enemy. NOW? Later, baby, later.

Why is the substitute young-male initiation by teachers, sergeants, counselors and gang leaders not working? Because they are not interested in the soul of the young males. We initiate not for profit, but for love. Children who are not loved do not survive.

Karl Jung has identified the Wise Old Man as one of history's major archetypes. He is the masculine counterpart of the Good Mother. He may be Teiresias in Greek mythology, the Venerable Master in Kung Fu, the cryptic message inside a Chinese fortune cookie.

The Wise Old Man nearly always appears in the company of a young and callow hero. He ushers the innocent and even ignorant youth into unsuspected worlds of knowledge and power. Isn't this what Merlin did for King Arthur, and Obi-wan for Luke in "Star Wars?"

Whatever he is called (guru, sachem, sage, messiah) he has intuitive power, spiritual "force." Bly suggests that we call him the Male Mother. His job is to bless the young, for young men who are not admired (or blessed) by older men end up grieving. There is a gap in their lives. And often that gap will be filled by demons.

Is the real issue at VMI not admitting females, evading federal injunctions, raising money for high-powered lawyers, but filling the gap?

Male companionship and interlocking, so crucial for so long, is not only being eroded but also derided. Boy Scouts must take females - so must college fraternities, combat units and ships, etc. The club, the lodge, the pub, even the locker room must be de-gendered. But is gender the real issue here? Or at least, is it the only issue?

When ideology masquerades as public policy, aspiring to psychotherapy, who knows where we may end up?

So far as I know, Bly has no words of wisdom for VMI, and neither do I. But we both might contend that the real issues involved go far beyond Lexington, and call for far more than a close call by the pollsters. (A poll recently in Richmond said those favoring female admission had a 5-4 lead.)

In a little while the contending forces will meet, as they did at New Market and Little Big Horn. One side will win and one will lose. Let us hope - whatever the outcome - that it will not be a Pyrrhic victory. Recall what Pyrrhus said, looking out over the dreadful carnage and destruction of battle: "One more victory like this and we shall be undone."