Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, March 13, 1990 TAG: 9003132941
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
No, Charlie, this does not mean being nice to aggressive ladies who run over your toes with their shopping carts or people of any sex who take more than 12 items through the express checkout line.
Be truthful now. Did you ever see anybody in any supermarket in this hemisphere do anything about these express-line cheaters? No. Everybody seems to be afraid of them.
But we are talking higher things here, as in this book put out by the Council on Economic Priorities.
This book tells you how the brand names rate in the areas of the environment, charity, women's advancement, animal testing, military contracts, community outreach, family benefits, nuclear power, South Africa, advancement of racial minorities and disclosure of information.
I would like for the Council on Economic Priorities to know that I am one socially responsible person.
I would also tell the council that I tend to hyperventilate when I go to supermarkets and thus I would not have time, say, to check out a can of 9 Lives for the position this cat food has taken in the area of women's advancement.
I am all for women's advancement, but when I go to the supermarkets it's bam! in and boom! out again.
Listen, I get nervous enough just trying to find the Stove Top Stuffing - never mind looking in this book to see if it has a good record in military contracts.
I know, however, that there are socially responsible people who are stable. They are not afraid of their supermarkets, and they would gladly use this guide.
"Wilfred," a housewife might say, "don't ever bring home any of those great-tasting cookies again. I looked them up and they have a dreadful record in women's advancement."
"Yes, my pet,'` Wilfred says gently.
He does not mention that he really likes those cookies or that there is no place in this book for rating companies on men's advantages.
The next time he brings home come cookies that taste like stale blacktop, but the maker has a perfect record in all of the categories.
Then he has to return a box of corn starch because the manufacturer is just so-so on the environment.
There are sharp arguments over the record of a certain maker of dilled pickles in giving to charitable causes. Wilfred becomes unstable.
The community is not shocked much when Wilfred runs over his wife, who probably was named Buffy, with a station wagon full of groceries he didn't check out socially before buying them.
by CNB