Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, March 24, 1990 TAG: 9003242261
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE:
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
The president said he hated the stuff, thus striking a blow for all of us who don't like it either.
As you probably know, however, it is fashionable to say you like broccoli.
People who absolutely hate the stuff will say: "Yes. I like it steamed and still quite crisp, after the French fashion, if you know what I mean."
Or: "Honestly, Merton and I wouldn't have the marriage we have today if it weren't for our mutual love for broccoli. It is good and good for us."
Actually, she and Merton haven't slept in the same room together since 1975, the result of an argument over having broccoli five times a week.
If things had worked out for Romeo and Juliet and Juliet had started serving broccoli five times a week, Romeo would have killed himself anyway, or run off with some broad.
Among these dweebs who they like broccoli, you will find the kind who will pick on smokers and make them feel they have betrayed their country by lighting up.
What these people are not telling you about their broccoli habit is that they wouldn't touch the stuff unless somebody poured melted cheese all over it.
Boy. No wonder. You probably could eat Brussells sprouts, too, if you killed the taste with cheese.
In this regard, I think we ought to congratulate the cheese industry, one member of which uses broccoli in its commericals.
You know. The one with the smart-mouthed kid who refuses to eat his broccoli unless it is covered up with melted cheese.
Personally, I would like to give this kid a good shot to the head, but we have to be grateful for seeing anything approaching the truth on television these days.
I am, therefore, in light of the bravery of the chief executive of this great nation, going to take a stand in my own home on the subject of broccoli.
I am going to say: "Sorry, my dear. No cheese, no broccoli."
And she is going to say: "You're outta here, Jack."
You should not fear for me, though, my friends. I will not starve. There is a Hardee's within easy driving distance.
I may not get calcium or vitamin A, but I'll be happy.
In the meantime, I hope that the president, now well on the way to showing everybody that he is not a wimp, will continue to take valiant stands on the issues that shape our times.
Come on, George. Let's follow up on this. Tell us how bad you hate squash.
by CNB