Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: THURSDAY, April 5, 1990                   TAG: 9004040258
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: E-1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

NOW YOU CAN HAVE MY SANDWICH AND EAT IT, TOO

So, I am not very good at playing the lottery, and I have no idea of how to fix the kitchen cabinet that appears to be falling down.

These faults pale to insignificance, as the politicians used to say, when compared to the great honor I have been given in Radford.

I will allow all of you a little time to get accustomed to being green with envy after I announce that I have a sandwich named after me at BT's restaurant in Radford.

So there. And eat your hearts out.

BT's is just across Tyler Avenue from Radford University - which used to be Radford College, an all-female institution, at which yours truly here left a trail of broken hearts.

(Never mind the specific time in this century when I was doing the above. Let us just say it was a number of years after the invention of the electric light.) BT's is also just a block from the old homestead on Downey Street - which got me kind of misty eyed and maudlin for a while there.

Bill Landis, the manager of the restaurant, said it has long had a series of sandwiches named for Radford landmarks, and my time had come.

Come on. I'm trying to be as modest about this as I can. It's just that a person doesn't have a sandwich named after him every day.

It is to be called - quite naturally - "The Ben Beagle" - not the "Beagle Bagel."

It will be a chicken breast - Ha. Ha. Some of you clowns thought it was going to be turkey, didn't you? - marinated in Italian dressing.

The chicken is then broiled, placed on a kaiser bun with lettuce and tomato and served with a side dish of potato salad.

Landis said the broiling will make the chicken have fewer calories to fat a person up.

As you know, I have been fatting up ever since I quit smoking.

Somebody should put up a sign near my deak saying: "Caution - Man Fatting Up."

In keeping with the less-fat theme, the potato salad will contain low-calorie mayonnaise.

This sandwich certainly beats that liquid diet I was on until it started making me act funny in front of my in-laws.

I am not going to cheapen this great personal achievement by telling you how much this sandwich costs.

You want to be nosy, you go to BT's and see for yourself.

Just don't bother me with it. I will be very busy writing this country song called: "Radford Named A Sandwich After Me."