Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, April 29, 1990 TAG: 9004260431
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: TRACY WIMMER STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
"What's she doing with them?" a black shopper said to her black friend. "What is she doing with them?"
The Chapmans said nothing, just went on about their business - Seth in the buggy, Maya trailing behind.
Now they laugh about it.
So ingrained is racism of all kinds that sometimes we don't even know it exists. Black people do.
So do white families with black children.
Whether they choose to make it tragedy or amusement can mean the difference between a child with self-esteem and a child with none.
"I really think they asked more out of curiosity more than anything else," Tom Chapman said. "What comments we've gotten haven't come from people in this area."
Three-year-old Seth scales his father's chest, a giant of a man with a baritone voice and a easy manner. Across the paneled den, 5-year-old Maya clings to her brother, Joshua, 17, who cradles her against him like she is his own.
Maya's legs are long, coltish. Her tightly curled hair is pulled back in a ponytail. She looks Hawaiian. Seth resembles some children from South America or the Middle East.
But these children had one white parent, one black. Mixed-race children now constitute one of the fastest-growing segments of children available for adoption in Roanoke.
Maya and Seth came to live in this big old restored farmhouse as infants, both having been placed in the custody of the Roanoke City Department of Social Services. And while their biological parents might not have planned on their arrival, their adoptive parents have been dreaming of them for years.
Tom and Cherry Chapman met while studying at the University of Virginia, where both had been exposed to population explosion issues. Because they wanted a large family, they decided that one day they would have two biological children and adopt two more.
Adopting mixed-race children in need of a home, instead of getting on a waiting list for a white infant, fell in line with their thinking.
They waited until Sara, now 15, and Joshua were older before contacting the city, so that the children could take part in the decision.
"I remember not being happy about it at first," Sara said. "For 10 years, it had just been Josh and I, and having little kids made me feel a little weird."
That feeling subsided as soon as Maya came to their family.
Tom, 45, and Cherry, 43, knew they wanted two children. Their social worker told them it was important to get two children of the same racial background so they would be able to support one another.
Cherry's twin brother, who lives in Harrisonburg, has also adopted racially diverse children, so Maya and Seth have black and biracial cousins.
The Chapmans hadn't given much thought to where their children would come from, but they knew they couldn't afford Catholic Charities. Because social services was so backed up, it took a year to get a home study.
What they remember most was their anxiety before the interviews, wondering what questions would be asked and whether they would pass. Yet "it was ultimately one of the most positive things that happened to us in terms of external forces on our marriage," Tom said.
Stretching over a period of six weeks, all family members were interviewed together and alone.
Questions were tough - "What would it take for you to want out of this marriage? What if your children are not readily accepted?" - issues that a lot of families never consider before adoption.
Tom was impressed with the way their social worker handled the home study. "I think it took some real skill to guide that process without it being a real turn-off," he said.
Maya was one of three children who became available at the time the Chapmans were ready to adopt.
When they decided to adopt Seth, another social worker came and updated their previous home study. By this time, Cherry was working part-time as an art teacher at Community School. Tom works for Mental Health Services of Roanoke.
They never met the Maya or Seth's birth parents, although they do occasionally send their social worker notes and photos, which are passed on to the parents.
All the members of their family have adjusted well. This year they have another person living with them - Sonoko Konishi, 18, the sister of a family friend, who will graduate from Patrick Henry High School in the spring.
Tom and Cherry now deal with questions from their children and from strangers as they come - usually one day at a time.
This year, for the first time, Maya has noticed she's black, Cherry said. The 5-year-old has brought up skin color after taking baths with her dark-skinned cousins.
Tom said they don't push the discussion of adoption or race in the family: "I think we just try to be open about everything they ask."
by CNB