Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, April 29, 1990 TAG: 9004260494
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E12 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: TRACY WIMMER STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
That's how long they were told the waiting period for a healthy white infant would be - by Catholic Charities and the Children's Home Society in 1985.
Unable to have children on their own, the two remembered reading an article in this paper about foreign adoption.
They called Catholic Charities back - then known as Catholic Family Services - and asked about their Intercountry Adoption Program.
In January 1988, the Parrs drove to an airport in Washington, D.C., and picked up their Korean infant, Kori.
"When they handed him to us," Danny said, "as far as we were concerned there was no one else there. Only the three of us."
Now 2 1/2, Kori Parr has got to be one of the sturdiest toddlers in Salem, jumping from couch to floor, then over his cat. He doesn't cry easily.
"He's a little ham," his mother said. "He's loving this."
Danny is a Salem fireman. Kay is a Roanoke County Sheriff's Department secretary. And soon Kori will have a Korean sister, Kari.
But foreign adoption is neither cheap nor easy. Many prospective parents have had their hopes dashed after attending an introductory meeting for foreign child adoption.
Depending upon the country chosen, the average cost of an adoption through Catholic Charities' Intercountry Adoption Program is between $10,000 and $15,000, although costs may reach $22,000. The money is paid in installments.
As a non-profit program, ICAP charges around $1,600 for adoption services.
But community-based agencies don't have the resources to translate documents and deal with foreign agencies. So intercountry adoptive parents must also work with one or more liaison agencies, based mainly in Washington, D.C. It will charge fees to cover such services as document translation and travel plans for an escort if one is required.
Additional costs may include: fees for a foreign lawyer and social worker; air fare; travel accommodations; immigration and naturalization filing fees; visa fees; foster care fees; birth costs; medical and/or dental costs; documentation expenses; and fees for supervisory visits.
Kit Munson, the director of the intercountry program, said families who adopt foreign children with her agency usually average a combined income of $30,000 to $40,000. To cover the cost of the adoption, many families save or borrow money.
"I feel if you looked at the cost of having your own as opposed to foreign adoption, there wouldn't be a whole lot of difference," Danny said. "I guess people just forget about that."
Both agencies and parents emphasize that foreign adoption isn't buying a child. Many of the children have been orphaned as the result of civil war, political upheaval or natural disaster.
Cultural norms and foreign laws also play a part. In many countries, abortion is illegal, and having a child out of wedlock shames not only the mother but the family. The children who result from such pregnancies may not be readily adopted in their own countries.
Foreign countries resent accusations that they sell their offspring. South Korea was once a prime source of children for foreign adoption. During the '80s, more than 40,000 Korean children were adopted by Americans.
But in recent years, as both the Korean and American press raised questions about adoption practices, the Korean government has cut down on the number of children it sends abroad. Koreans are now encouraged to use birth control and to adopt children who need homes.
And to counteract any notions of babies for sale, countries have stepped up the requirements adoptive parents must meet. While it is still easier for single or older people to adopt foreign children than a white American infant, it's not automatic.
The husband or wife must be a U.S. citizen and at least 25 years of age. Applicants who have been divorced once may be accepted, but applicants with more than one divorce will face particularly stringent examination. Some foreign countries even require proof of infertility for applicants under age 30. A history of certain medical conditions, such as cancer, may eliminate some applicants.
ICAP handles children between infancy and age 15 from such countries as Brazil, Chile, Colombia, El Salvador, Guatemala, Thailand and Peru.
But the length of the list of participating countries "all depends on the political climate," said Kit Munson, ICAP director. "If a foreign country feels like it is being bad-mouthed, they'll slam the door in your face."
Parents can choose the country from which they want their child to come, Munson said. The Parrs chose Korea because the waiting time and fees were relatively little.
Couples go through four home-study group sessions for intercountry adoption. Twenty-five Southwest Virginia couples have completed home studies with ICAP or are in the process. All will be getting children; some already know the sex of their child.
The Parrs have remained friends with the four couples who went through the process with them. They get together for dinner on occasion, with all the children.
Home studies for intercountry adoption differ from domestic ones. Couples are required to do reports on the country from which they plan to adopt, as well as answer the usual battery of questions on family, relationships and motivations for wanting a child.
Couples also discuss tougher questions: What if your best friend doesn't want her child becoming involved in an interracial relationship with your child? What if your extended family doesn't approve?
The Parrs have already faced these questions and more. When they first told their families, Danny's father didn't seem enthusiastic about the idea - perhaps because he fought in the Korean War, Danny explained. But as soon as the grandfather met his new grandson, "he fell in love with him."
And when Danny and his son are out together, there are people who walk up and ask if Kori's mother is Korean.
"I just tell them yes," Danny said.
ICAP applicants must also provide a myriad of notarized documents - birth certificates, photocopies of tax returns, psychological evaluations - to name a few.
Getting Kari has meant updating a lot of documents, but the Parrs did no new home study.
A social worker was required to make three follow-up visits within a period of six months to make sure everyone was adjusting.
The Parrs petitioned the court to legally adopt Kori in Virginia, then applied to the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service to have him declared a citizen.
Foreign countries will tell the American parents as much as they can about the birth parents of every child placed. Kori's parents were co-workers in a factory.
The Parrs plan to expose Kori to as much of his culture as possible. But they feel his real roots are in Salem.
"He was ours the night they handed him to us at the airport," Kay said.
by CNB