
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, May 14, 1990                   TAG: 9005140047
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: A3   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

READER BACKS PIGEON STANCE

It has been a while since we've sifted through the mailbag, and what with stamp barons preparing to raise their rate to 30 cents per letter, it's logical to expect that fewer people will be writing. We'd better get on the stick:

Dear Mr. Shamy,

You are a brave man to take on the PLO (Pigeon Lovers Organization).

H.F., Horsepen.

Dear H.F.,

Every creature has a place. A pigeon's place is on its back, little feet curled skyward, eyes unseeing.

\ Dear Mr. Shamy,

I suppose he/she who is proud of their ignorance requires little call to display it. Now, when we are trying to make our children cognizant of foreign languages, as foreign children are cognizant, you go overboard to make sorry fun of it. Vous etes un beche cretin . . .

L.U., Blacksburg.

Dear L.U., Speak pig Latin, friend? If not, find a translator: O-gay ump-jay in a ake-lay.

\ Dear Mr. Shamy,

Thank you for that article on Stonewall Jackson. You certainly must be a Confederate to write with such perception . . .

J.R., Hillsville.

Dear J.R., You are too kind, sir, but may I correct you? Surely you meant: Only a Yankee could write with such perception.

\ Dear Mr. Shamy,

Your April 16 column on the Lee Highway farm struck a familiar chord with me. I drive past the farm several times each week and enjoy the peaceful scene, the change of seasons, the fresh green oasis in the middle of ugly strip development . . .

It is possible to have economic development and beautiful scenery side by side, but it cannot happen without commitment and planning . . . How do we proceed from here?

K.R., Roanoke.

Dear K.R.

Move the Hunter Viaduct, in its entirety, to Lee Highway to carry the road over the goose pond? Might be better to call in your opinion to the city engineering department at 981-2731 or to the state transportation department's district office at 387-5488.

\ Dear Ed,

I don't know if the woman with the 60-inch bust you call Morganna is the same one . . . I saw in Newark in the 1950s who was billed as "Chesty Morgan, the Zsa Zsa Gabor [sic] of Burlesque." I couldn't afford one of her glossy 8-by-10s, but I got a photocopy from someone who could. It's yours, for your collection.

J.C., Salem.

Dear J.C.,

Did you have to send me that photo? That is unnatural.

\ And finally, a response not to a letter, but to a far more powerful gesture - a vote. As you probably know by now, I received a write-in vote in the May 1 Roanoke City Council election and finished seventh in the balloting for three seats. The vote was cast in the Peters Creek precinct of Northwest Roanoke. I do not live there, proof that I did not write in my own name.

Still, when duty calls, I stand tall, and I consider this a mandate to continue building the Irreverent Party.

by CNB