Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, May 15, 1990 TAG: 9005150019
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
I am a Taurus and proud of it. The other morning she wrote a horoscope for me that said:
"Promoting teamwork on the career front should win you high marks today. Express your opinions clearly; your words will gain wide acceptance and rousing applause. Spend more time with children."
I'll tell old Jeane one thing, I'm not a member of the herd when it comes to horoscopes, and it seems to me that following the above would have made for a very bad day for your average Taurus.
No sir. I am a stable person. I don't believe horoscopes when they say things like the above or: "Today, you will find yourself involved in a torrid love affair with a loving partner of great wealth." Sure, and tomorrow you will be involved in a nasty divorce in which you will lose your socks.
But there are some people who take these things very seriously - no, I am not going to get into Nancy Reagan and her astrologer - and this can get them into a lot of trouble.
Let us take our man Winston, who is also a Taurus and follows up on the above horoscope.
He goes into the boss's office and says, "Hi, big guy. I'm here to promote teamwork on the career front, which I am told will give me very high marks today."
"The old head injury bothering you again?" the boss asks. "I'd see a doctor if I were you."
"You mean that your're not interested in promoting teamwork on the career front?" Winston says. "Well, I must say I am shocked. I mean, teamwork on the career front is important, isn't it?"
"Maybe you would be interested in early retirement?" the boss says, and Winston gets the drift of the situation and leaves.
Later that day, driven by his obsession with astrology, he returns to the boss's office.
"Hi, old timer," he says. "I'm here to express my opinions clearly. It is my opinion, for example, that I should have an office of my own with a wet bar and a secretary with very good legs.
"I know that part about the secretary's legs may sound sexist, but I happen to be in favor of good legs, and Jeane Dixon said for me to express my opinions clearly.
"Get out of here before I call 911," the boss says.
"Does this mean my words haven't gained wide acceptance and you aren't going to give me some rousing applause?" Winston asks.
Shortly afterward, Winston again takes his horoscope seriously.
He starts spending more time with the children.
He had to move in with them when he lost his career.
by CNB