Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, May 29, 1990 TAG: 9005290027
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: B-7 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: ROBERT McG. THOMAS THE NEW YORK TIMES
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Here is an acclaimed golf champion, a master of his sport, yet every time he gets together with his buddies Wayne Gretzky, Ivan Lendl and Larry Bird, they make him feel like some third-rate tiddlywinks player.
Oh, they know that Norman has won his share of tournaments, but all his victories, they point out, were won by beating other golfers.
If he really thinks he's such great shakes, they tell him, he should try playing some real athletes.
To Gretzky, who spends his professional life on skates trying to get his stick on a puck speeding across the ice, golf is kiddie hockey.
It's all he can do to keep from breaking up when he thinks about taking a whack at a stationary object, a lot of the time on a tee, for goodness sakes, while his feet are planted on solid ground and his opponents are keeping a respectful distance not even trying to slam him against the boards.
If Norman thinks he's such a sharp putter, let him try sinking one when some guy in a mask is guarding the hole.
To Lendl, golf is wimp tennis.
Not only does a golfer not have to hit a ball on the run, but when he does hit it, he just stands there with his hands on his hips watching it fly off into the distance knowing that nobody is going to hit it back.
As for Bird, he will have a lot more respect for golfers when they start catching a few elbows during their backswings and hitting their chip shots while a couple of monster forwards are waving their hands in their faces.
Norman has heard all this once too often.
The only way he can get their respect, he knows, is to take them on.
Now, since no golfer in his right mind would get into a face-off with Gretzky, put himself in the path of a Lendl serve or go one-on-one with Bird, the obvious solution is a round of golf, a game all three play as a diversion from real sport.
So the four friends plan to go down to the Champions Golf and Country Club in Rogers, Ark., to settle things once and for all - unless, of course, they line up a sponsor, in which case they just might consider making the Norman Challenge, which is to be shown on CBS on July 14 and July 15, an annual event.
Norman may be fed up, but he is no fool.
To give him a ready-made excuse, the round will be a scramble, in which his three rivals will drive off each tee, then hit from where the best lie of the three lands.
That way, if Norman loses, he will avoid total humiliation.
After all, with friends like Lendl, Bird and Gretzky, it's hard enough being a golf champion.
by CNB