Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, May 30, 1990 TAG: 9005300057
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Mike Mayo
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
\ "Thieves of Fortune" is probably the most watchable of the bunch. It's a silly adventure that combines the sensibility of "Romancing the Stone" with a dash of "Tootsie." Shawn Weatherly plays a young woman who has to disguise herself as a man to claim an inheritance in South America.
She and co-star Michael Nouri dash through a series of cliff-hangers involving plane crashes, shoot-outs and such. When Weatherly is decked out in her macho duds and fake beard, she's a dead ringer for William Hurt in "I Love You to Death." Both she and Nouri have the proper light touch for this kind of story,
\ "Street Asylum" is almost as much fun, but for completely different reasons. It's another "Robocop" knockoff about policemen who are surgically transformed into murderous killing machines. There are no surprises in that part of the story.
What sets this one apart from so many others is the presence of Watergate figure G. Gordon Liddy as a sexually perverted sado-maschochistic right-wing demagogue. The scene in which he slips out of character and starts giggling uncontrollably while former Playboy magazine model Roberta Vasquez comes after him with a whip is worth the price of a rental all by itself.
\ "Transylvania Twist" is even funnier, and it means to be. In fact, it may be the best horror spoof since "Young Frankenstein." Director Jim Wynorski makes good bad movies ("The Lost Empire") and rotten bad movies ("The Return of Swamp Thing"). This is one of the good ones.
It borrows footage from several of Roger Corman's old films and tosses in screwy quotes from such disparate sources as "Night of the Living Dead" and "Taxi Driver." It's even got a few seconds of music that sounds like Spike Jones' version of "Bolero."
\ "Private Affairs" is far and away the weakest entry. It's a wildly complicated and unfunny Italian sex comedy. Kate Capshaw stars as a woman who's having an affair with a doctor until he dumps her for her son's swimming teacher. At the same time, David Naughton has fallen for his best friend's girl, but she's fooling around with someone else and eventually (I think) she gets hooked up with the doctor. Then Capshaw and Naughton . . . you get the idea.
For a comedy, the pace is all wrong. Part of the story may have been meant to be taken seriously. In fact, all of it might be funny or significant to European sophisticates, but it struck me more as a particularly loony letter to Ann Landers.
\ "Demonstone" is either a supernatural adventure with a screw loose or an allegory on the political situation in the Philippines. Whichever, it's the story of a spirit that rises from the dead, possesses the body of a TV newswoman (Nancy Everhard) and tries to destroy an important Filipino family.
The storyline could hardly be more far-fetched, but veterans Jan-Michael Vincent and R. Lee Ermey handle the physical action well. Director Andrew Prowse seldom lets the pace get too slow and he made good use of dozens of locations; the film has a strong sense of place. Despite the obvious weaknesses, "Demonstone" is lively and engaging.
Our next supernatural tale,\ "The Girl in the Swing," is just silly. In fact, about half-way through, I hit the fast-forward button and didn't stop, even for the good parts. The story has something to do with the sexual obsession that overtakes a staid young English antiques dealer (Rupert Frazer) when he meets a mysterious woman (Meg Tilly) with an even more mysterious accent.
She is a professional translator who talks in stilted dialogue that sounds like it was translated from German to French to English. Her accent doesn't help; she says "graffel" for "gravel," "afreebotty" for "everybody" and "broins" for "brains."
\ "Hollywood Hottubs 2" is a lightweight comedy that combines the best of "Porky's" with the best of "Wall Street." It's the story of a brainless bimbo (Jewel Shepard) who saves the family hottub business from unscrupulous entrepreneurs by going to business school.
\ "Wildest Dreams" is a trifling variation on the old three wishes from the genie in the bottle plot combined with a "Risky Business" premise. When a young man is left in charge of the family antique business for the weekend, he discovers a magic bottle and asks the genie to find the perfect woman for him. His misadventures are familiar but they're handled with spirit. This one is silly, sexy, wildly overacted and fun if you're in the mood for complete frivolity.
Next week: Mysteries.
New release
Back to the Future Part II: **1/2 Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd. Directed by Roger Zemeckis. 105 min. Rated PG for language and violence. The movie that raises over-stimulation to a house style. The original, about a boy, his mad-scientist friend and a souped-up time machine, had a pleasant pop gloss and some amusing time-warp jokes. The filmmakers are mining the same territory here but this movie is darker, more shrill and hectic.
This time Fox steps into several roles as the movie looks into the McFly family history. Marty and Doc Brown see trouble ahead for Marty Jr. in the year 2015 and zip forward to keep the lad out of the slammer. In the meantime, they uncover a sports almanac that becomes the key to the movie's fast fowards and reverses as the trials and tribulations of the McFly family emerge.
The technical achievements here remain state of the art and the movie has some moments of fun but - as is the case with most sequels - it cannot recapture the freshness of the original. - CHRIS GLADDEN
What the ratings mean:
**** Wonderful; one of the best of its kind. See it right away.
*** Very good; definitely worth renting.
** Average. You've seen better; you've seen worse.
* Poor. Make sure the fast-forward button on your VCR is in good working order.
\ Dud An insult to intelligence and taste. This category is as much a warning as a rating.
THE ESSENTIALS:
(With the exception of `Transylvania Twist' all of these films contain strong language, varying degrees of violence, brief nudity and sexual situations. Therefore, they are rated by the Guilty Pleasure Index (GPI), a 1-10 scale, upon which a 9.9 film is so scandalous you'd never tell your mother you'd watched it, and a 1 is so tame that the kids can join you.)
\ `Thieves of Fortune' GPI: 6.2. Academy. 100 min. Rated R.
\ `Street Asylum' GPI: 8.1. Magnum. 94 min. Unrated and R.
\ `Transylvania Twist' GPI: 6.4. MGM/UA. 82 min. Rated PG-13.
\ `Private Affairs' GPI: 4.1. Academy. 83 min. Rated R.
\ `Demonstone' GPI: 7.9. Fries. 90 min. Rated R.
\ `Girl in the Swing' GPI: 7.1. HBO 119 min. Rated R.
\ `Hollywood Hottubs 2' GPI: 8.5. IVE 103 min. Rated R.
\ `Wildest Dreams' GPI: 8.2. Vestron. 84 min. Rated R.
by CNB