Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: THURSDAY, May 31, 1990                   TAG: 9005310019
SECTION: NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL                    PAGE: A-6   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Associated Press
DATELINE: WASHINGTON                                LENGTH: Medium

ODD, CREATIVE, OUTRAGED CENSUS REPLIES ADD UP

When you send questionnaires out to count a quarter-billion Americans, chances are not all the responses will be what was expected.

"For wanting to know how many people live in the U.S., you people are all nosey," wrote one woman on her census form.

"I thought this was a Census, not a history quiz," replied another.

And one man methodically wrote "none of your business" in response to each question on his form.

The census is continuing and people who don't provide information will likely get a call from their local census enumerator.

So far, officials say, just more than 80 percent of American households have been counted, either in the mail-back portion of the count or by workers going door-to-door. The effort is expected to continue for at least several weeks.

Some enumerators have even resorted to rowboats in flood-ravaged areas of Texas, reported Census spokesman Jim Wilson in Dallas.

Many of the people filling out forms are going beyond the limits of the form's square boxes, however, to express more personal thoughts about the census and themselves.

Wilson has been collecting census responses from across the nation that go beyond the bureaucratic expectations. His collection includes:

A census form with a large chunk missing and teeth marks over the remainder, with a note saying that the family's golden retriever had chomped on it, and asking for a new form.

"The census sounds like an autobiography, not a head count."

"I answered the questions the best I know how, we are two old people."

"Brad, study and no science questions, notes on bugs, dad can help." (Wilson suggests this note, scrawled on the envelope, may not have been intended for the Census Bureau).

"I am 74, I own this property, that is all I intend to say."

One woman listed her two Pekingese, with a note saying that, to her, "these are people, these are not dogs." Their language spoken was listed as Pekingese.

One man listed his state of residence as "confusion."

A woman, apparently annoyed at questions about type of employment and place of work, included a note stating:

"When my husband is home from work and is resting my work still goes on, I cook the meals, I wash the dishes, I mow the yard, wash the clothes and hang them on the line, make sure the bills are paid on time and that the floors are vacuumed or mopped. If this is not a job I don't know what is."

A man answering the question on commuting to work said his wife traveled by broom.

One respondent included Tinker Bell and Peter Pan as sharing the household.

And a man called a census office to ask whether he had been sent a long form at the instigation of his estranged wife, who was trying to find out about his live-in girlfriend.