Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, May 31, 1990 TAG: 9005310160
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV1 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: CYNTHIA JENNISON SPECIAL TO THE ROANOKE TIMES & WORLD-NEWS
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
I consider myself luckier than most. My extended family lives in the same town. I have a husband who shares family and household responsibilities and a history of fortunate arrangements and loving care givers.
But my story is typical in one way of most mothers who work outside their homes. It is a history of scrambling for solutions and of feeling little support from society for this unending quest for affordable, dependable child care. After 10 different arrangements in 5 years, I have become an expert at the child-care two-step.
As a blissful new mother five years ago, I never thought the time would come (and soon!) that I would need or want to return to work. I felt lucky to be able to stay home with my daughter.
Our move to Christiansburg to be closer to extended family allowed me to take a full-time job when my baby was 9 months old.
Sixty percent of mothers with children under 6 work - for 36 percent of us working mothers, a job is financially imperative.
Neither I nor my husband wanted to see our baby with a stranger. So I had a "regular" job and he worked nights. This job-juggling enhanced the bonding between daddy and child, eased our guilt over loyalties split between family and work, and enriched the early days of our baby's life. But it was terrible for our marriage.
An overlapping schedule helped somewhat, and then we placed our 12-month-old with a babysitter at her home in the afternoon. The babysitter was not licensed and not an "official" provider, but she took care of three other children plus her own.
In addition to the concern about the lack of state licensing, I was aware of a subconscious worry about safety. The babysitter seemed nice enough and my pastor had taken her own child there, but what about the TV tuned to "The Three Stooges" and the shotgun rack in the playroom?
The price was all we could afford, but I knew I had to change when I came to pick up my daughter and found a partially disemboweled deer hanging by the entrance.
My husband's parents have been saintly supporters through the years. My mother-in-law offered to care for the baby during her summer break from teaching.
My worries about abusing this relationship and restricting the time of these active grandparents were eased somewhat when my daughter started half-time at a center owned and operated by my employers. The on-site center was widely considered to provide the best care in the area. I loved being able to walk across the lawn to visit my baby, and I was able to concentrate on doing my job rather than worry about my child.
That fall, the ideal situation ended when my mother-in-law went back to work. The on-site center had no full-time slots.
At 24 months, our baby started full time at an independent center in Blacksburg. The ease of having only one child-care provider was welcome, and I worried less than with a private baby sitter about unmonitored care.
But there were different problems. I didn't like the large numbers of children in one room, I couldn't pop in to see her on my lunch break and I had to make other arrangements or stay home when she was sick and when the center closed for three full weeks out of the year.
I had a personality conflict with one teacher who seemed overbearing. I was afraid to discuss my concerns with the director because I thought they might take it out on my child. Nevertheless, this arrangement was good enough to continue for 18 months.
When my second daughter was born, I look a nine-week leave. I thought I would go back to work full time immediately after the birth, but I discovered that I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my baby all day. I was determined to find an alternative or quit my job, even though we couldn't afford it.
I was amazed and delighted when the company approved my proposal to work out of my home half days and at the office the other half. My older daughter continued at the private center full time. My newborn slept at home in the morning while I worked. In the afternoon, I shared a full-time slot with another mother while my baby was cared for in the company's day care center.
Other than having my daughters at two different places, it was an idyllic arrangement - a win-win situation for my baby, my employer, the other mother who needed a partner to share her slot, and the child-care providers. But it was not to last.
"Due to financial difficulties, we must close the child-care center." My carefully constructed system again started to collapse. For the sixth time in three years, I was scrambling for child-care arrangements.
The on-site center was closed by the company, which said it faced heavy losses in operating the center. I was later laid off from the same company for financial reasons, which didn't upset me half as much as when the center closed! I knew I could always find another job, but it is not so easy to find decent child care.
We had yet another very lucky break: The main care giver in the infant room, whom I trusted, agreed to take my baby in her home after the center closed. She was a wonderful, caring person, and it was a nice arrangement. I was ready to return to work full time - but the woman caring for my child didn't want a full-time schedule.
My oldest daughter was now 3 1/2 years old. The center where she had started as a 2-year-old reduced its service hours and raised its rates to the highest in the area. It also refused to offer reduced "combo" rates for siblings. Finances and hours forced us to switch providers.
Our daughters started full time at a private center in Christiansburg, where we live. They have been at this center for almost two years. We like the fact that they are both in one place and making friends with children in their home town.
This center has good hours, decent rates, great care givers and a good track record financially. The fact that it is state-licensed and reviewed by an in-house parent advisory board makes me feel safer than using an unmonitored babysitter in a private home.
The disadvantages of group care still bother us: When a child is sick, we must make other arrangements or stay home; there are too many kids in a small area; the providers cannot individualize the program for my daughters' needs - my older is very smart but emotionally immature; the younger needs more verbal assistance, more physical closeness and less crowding.
And even though the rates are competitive for this area, the dilemma of cost remains. The care givers receive a very minimal salary considering the importance of their job, the center is not wildly profitable, yet we pay approximately 20 percent of our income for child care.
Grand right and left, and sashay home!
by CNB