Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, June 20, 1990 TAG: 9006200066
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Mike Mayo
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
Sidaris makes tongue-in-cheek action/exploitation movies that feature excellent production values; silly plots filled with gadgets, explosions and shoot-outs; flagrant bad acting from stem to stern; attractive young actors and actresses with large, well-tanned chests; and oodles of gratuitous nudity.
His newest, "Savage Beach" is one of his finest. It continues the adventures of two federal agents (former Playboy magazine models Dona Spier and Hope Marie Carlton) in Hawaii and the South Pacific. The plot is a confused mess that revolves around a fortune in gold lost at the end of World War II.
Since Sidaris and his oeuvre have already been discussed at length, in place of the usual review, here is a self-scoring multiple-choice test on "Savage Beach":
\ 1. After our heroines and their two friends bust a gang of drug smugglers, they:
(a) Fill out all the necessary paper work and get home in time to watch "The Cosby Show."
(b) Congratulate themselves on a job well done and phone in an order for a large pizza with everything but anchovies.
(c) Take off all their clothes and jump in the nearest hot tub.
\ 2. Our heroines fly a small plane through a raging typhoon to a tropical island. They deliver serum to the children's hospital and then:
(a) They stay there until the storm is over.
(b) They wonder what this has to do with the rest of the movie.
(c) They refuel, take off and then change out of those icky wet clothes.
\ 3. When their friends find out that the heroines are lost in the storm, they:
(a) Say that they haven't seen them since the hot tub.
(b) Offer to help search for them.
(c) Change shirts.
\ 4. Our heroines crash on a small island. They:
(a) Radio for help.
(b) Pay not attention to the man with the samurai sword.
(c) Go skinny-dipping.
\ 5. When the fiery Filipino Communist learns that her companion has located the gold, she:
(a) Sings a rousing chorus of the "Internationale."
(b) Rededicates herself to the principles of Karl Marx and Vanessa Redgrave.
(c) Says, "My ideology means far more to me than fame and adulation. The good of the party is my reward," and slips off her negligee.
Those of you who answered (c) to all questions get an "A."
\ "Witchcraft II: The Temptress" is another piece of exploitative fluff that's an odd mixture of the very good and the very bad. It begins by establishing a realistic small-town setting and believable, realistic characters. Director Mark Woods even manages to give the film a sort of David Lynch, "Blue Velvet" or "Twin Peaks" atmosphere at times. But when the supernatural stuff shifts into high gear, it all becomes laughable.
Even the erotic elements, concerning a witch's attempt to seduce a teen-ager, produce some unintentional laughs. If overacting were a crime, most of the cast would be in jail.
But it would be unfair to leave it at that. Even though this one is no "Rosemary's Baby," it has some unsettling moments. Part of the credit goes to the make-up and costume people who dolled up the witch (Delia Sheppard) to look like a combination of Madonna and Brigitte Nielsen. Now, that is frightening.
Next week: Exercise tapes.
New releases this week
\ Steel Magnolias: 1/2 Starring Shirley MacLaine, Julia Roberts, Olympia Dukakis, Daryl Hannah, Dollie Parton, Sally Field. Directed by Herbert Ross. RCA/Columbia, 120 min. Rated PG for language.
Robert Harling's funny, touching and loving play about a dying woman and the tremendous network of support that comes from the women in her life makes it to the screen with a mega-cast. Director Ross only partly succeeds in capturing the play's charm; some of the humor is more effective when spoken than when visualized.
Roberts plays a plucky young Southern bride-to-be. She has diabetes, and doctors advise her to not have children, but she's determined to live her life on her own terms. The movie's at its best when it concentrates on the loving but adversarial relationship between the daughter and her strong-willed mother (Field). Of the supporting cast, Parton surprisingly is the most realistic and effective as the beauty parlor operator; Dukakis and MacLaine have one uproarious scene in a cemetery that may be the single best scene in the movie. - CHRIS GLADDEN
Roger and Me: Documentary. Directed by Michael Moore. Warner, 91 min. Rated R for strong language.i
A funny, disturbing and provocative movie that had everyone abuzz - including some critics who questioned Moore's chronological juggling of some incidents. Who cares? The advocacy journalist wears his politics on his fatigue jacket sleeve.
When General Motors pulled out of Flint, Mich., Moore didn't like it and set out to interview the CEO who wouldn't give him the time of day. More than a left-wing diatribe, however, this movie is an original slice of contemporary Americana. Moore discovers wonderful characters surviving in depressed Flint; he brings a keen eye for popular culture to the movie. One of a kind. - CHRIS GLADDEN
THE ESSENTIALS:
`Savage Beach' RCA/Columbia. 96 min. Rated R for nudity, sexual content, violence.
\ `Witchcraft II: The Temptress' 1/2 Academy. 88 min. Rated R for nudity, sexual content, violence, profanity.
by CNB