
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, July 8, 1990                   TAG: 9007060366
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: EX6   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Associated Press
DATELINE: NEW YORK                                LENGTH: Medium

RULES OF ETIQUETTE ARE CHANGING FOR ENCORE BRIDES

If you applaud the song that says love is better the second time around, you're in good company. Last year there were more than 2.5 million weddings in the United States, and more than one-third were remarriages.

Years ago, ceremonies for second marriages had to follow strict etiquette guidelines, but today the kind of wedding you have is limited only by your dreams and your budget.

If your first wedding was a simple affair in a judge's chambers, you can opt for a lavish event with many attendants and an elaborate sit-down dinner. If you remember being overwhelmed by the complexity of your first wedding, you can plan a simple, intimate ceremony followed by a large, informal reception for friends and family.

If your first wedding was a solemn affair in a large church, explore some of the non-traditional places now available for rental, such as an old mansion or museum courtyard. By all means, plan on dancing if that's your pleasure. Have a receiving line so that everyone has a chance to wish you happiness. And sign up with a bridal registry. You are making a fresh start and your wedding should reflect your hopefulness for the future.

If the bride selects an elaborate white gown instead of a creamy-beige cocktail dress, that's okay. White is no longer limited to virginal young women. Rather, it is regarded as the color of joy and celebration.

Favorite bridal gown fabrics include taffeta, satin crepe and lace. Popular styles feature fitted bodices and long torsos, with slightly wider skirts that are tea-length, floor-length or have a handkerchief-point hem. Body-skimming sheaths are strong contenders, too.

A small hat with a veil that covers the brow, a dramatic picture hat or a wreath of fresh flowers can complete the bridal look. Avoid the long train and veil. They remain exclusively for first-time brides.

"Our customer who is marrying again tends to be older and more sophisticated," says Elaine Duke, bridal buyer for J.C. Penney. "She is usually paying for her own wedding, knows exactly what she wants and is willing to pay more to get it."

Zella Bird, a grandmother from St. Bernard, Ohio, decided on a formal wedding for her remarriage. "I didn't have one the first time," she says. She named three bridesmaids and a matron of honor and selected a white dress with a lace-bordered long skirt.

"For a remarriage, unlike a first marriage, the bride provides guidance as to the color, fabric and general look of her attendants' dresses," says Cele Lalli, editor of Modern Bride magazine. "They then can select a dress that complements their figures and reflects their own sense of style. The dresses don't have to match."

The men in the wedding wear formal clothes if the bride chooses a long dress, but dark suits, white shirts and dark ties are in order for an informal ceremony. Children in the bridal party wear long or short party dresses and suits.

"Second weddings," says designer Ann Lawrence, "are a time when you should please yourself. Make a list of what you liked and disliked about your first wedding dress, and go from there."

by CNB