Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, July 16, 1990 TAG: 9007140191
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Tom Shales
DATELINE: WASHINGTON LENGTH: Medium
But what if it was true? But it couldn't be true! But what if it was? But it couldn't be!!!
Ratings don't tell a network how its programs are doing just for the fun of it. They are used to determine advertising rates. Networks like to raise those rates, not lower them. So for the new fall season ahead, they have devised their own new formulas to determine what advertisers will pay and what kinds of ratings "guarantees" advertisers will get.
In its announcement that the network would no longer rely solely on the Neilsen figures it's used for years, NBC cited "the problem of inconsistent data" which "became substantially more pronounced during the first quarter of 1990." NBC scoffed at "unexplained, unverified changes in overall viewing levels."
This is not called killing the messenger who brings you bad news. It's called hiring a few more messengers and telling them the news they bring had darn well better be good.
Madison Avenue is up in arms at what NBC and the other networks are doing. But then, advertising agencies weren't all that happy about the fall outlook anyway. What do they see in the networks' future? Failure, and plenty of it. Lots o' flops.
The Saatchi & Saatchi agency sees no new hits among the newcomers announced for fall by ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox: "The overwhelming majority of the 33 new programs are given moderate reviews by the agency," it says in its annual forecast.
Among the shows predicted to bomb by Saatchi & Saatchi are "American Chronicles," an artsy-smartsy travelogue on Fox from the "Twin Peaks" team of David Lynch and Mark Frost; "The Flash," a super-hero spoof on CBS about a schmoe who's hit by lightning and soon is whizzing through the park at 300 miles an hour and eating four pizzas at a time; and also on CBS, "The Green Machine," a drama series about a goody-two-shoes "A-Team" that runs around the world battling ecological catastrophes.
Also given little hope for success: "The Hammersmiths," an update of "The Waltons," about a really big brood in the Pacific Northwest, on CBS; a sitcom called "Class of Beverly Hills" on Fox; and one NBC show, "Signs of Life," which is scheduled for Sunday nights and which happens to be a pet project of NBC Entertainment President Brandon Tartikoff.
"Signs of Life" is billed as a new kind of medical series because it portrays illness from the patient's point of view rather than in terms of doctor heroics. All well and good, but Madison Avenue is not impressed.
"Who wants to watch a story about colon cancer or some disease-of-the-week on Sunday night after dinner?" one ad agency executive told Advertising Age. "I think this is a throwaway hour for NBC."
If industry observers expect few true hits - indeed, no true hits - from the new crop of prime-time shows, some series are at least given a shot at surviving. They're predicted to attract enough viewers to keep the ratings presentable, if not spectacular.
Among those shows are "Fresh Prince of Bel Air," "The Fanelli Boys," and "Parenthood," all sitcoms on NBC; "Baby Talk," based on the movie "Look Who's Talking," and "Gabriel's Fire," with James Earl Jones playing an ex-con crime fighter on ABC; a sitcom called "Lenny" and a Burt Reynolds action show called "Evening Shade," on CBS; and, on Fox, "True Colors," a comedy about a multiracial household, and "Babes," a sitcom about three fat sisters.
That's right, three fat sisters. You wanna make something out of it? Fox does. And might.
Two shows considered tough calls are Grant Tinker's TV newsroom drama "WIOU," on CBS; and Steven Bochco's offbeat musical crime show "Cop Rock" on ABC. The shows will air opposite each other Wednesday nights.
Other wild cards include the CBS sitcom "Uncle Buck" based on the John Candy movie (but without John Candy); the NBC sitcom "Ferris Bueller" based on the Matthew Broderick movie (but without Matthew Broderick); and "Get a Life," a Fox comedy starring Chris Elliott, of "Late Night With David Letterman," as a 30-year-old goof who still lives with his parents and still has a paper route.
Now don't worry about the networks. Just because no new shows are predicted to be big hits doesn't mean they won't be able to manufacture a silver lining. If all the new shows score low ratings, the networks will simply point to the shows with the highest low ratings and declare them to be smashing successes.
Sometimes those nutty, wacky networks are just too funny for words. Washington Post Writers Group
by CNB