Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, July 28, 1990 TAG: 9007280156
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
There is, for example, Roseanne Barr.
You know her. Great big, offensive woman who has a popular TV show.
She is the type Miss Manners might hunt down with an automatic weapon, if Miss Manners decided that the ownership and firing of such a device was quite proper.
She is not the type to enter ballrooms while the band is playing, "A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody," if you get my drift here, George.
We have all heard by now that she sang the national anthem before a ball game in San Diego this week and apparently did not sing it well.
The fans booed and Barr grabbed her crotch and spat.
Hey, is that funny or what?
This is the kind of stuff that you want to cut out of your Aunt Zelda's newspaper before she fetches it from the porch.
I suspect your Aunt Zelda might also be inclined to waste Roseanne Barr.
Aunt Zelda and Miss Manners to the contrary, all of these people got upset.
They said Barr had disgraced the national anthem, not to mention the San Diego Padres.
What they ought to be worrying about, in my opinion, is a proper trial and punishment for the churnhead who invited her to sing in the first place.
This guy must really have a head on his shoulders.
Nobody can really sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" and Americans have known this for years.
Certainly, nobody expected Barr to sing it well.
Nor did they expect her to whip out a swansdown fan, take the vapors and faint just dead away after the fans booed her.
Hey. We're talking about a woman who has a tattoo in a very strange place.
This business supports what I have been saying for years: This nation is in a taste crisis.
There's Madonna. I understand she did certain things during her "Blond Ambition" tour that would have turned the girl next door into a pillar of salt.
And we are not talking here of the relatively discreet act of expectoration.
It makes you wonder where Eydie Gorme is now that we need her.
I dunno. If I were Miss Manners, I probably would cry a lot - at the proper times, of course.
Hey, pal. We are adrift in a sea of tackiness and, in the name of Francis Scott Key, let us all now hope that nobody asks Madonna to sing the national anthem.
by CNB