Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, July 31, 1990 TAG: 9007310166
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: CARLETON JONES THE BALTIMORE SUN
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
The kid next door, doing his regular paid lawn chore, runs over your new hose, thereby slicing said hose into two lengths.
\ Remedy: Off to the hardware store or the lawn racks of your favorite discount house. Chances are they have the double-jointed plastic splicer, a hose repair item (about $2) that will link both ends of the hose, simply and firmly, with very little loss of length. Some models even come in a nice, unobtrusive, garden green color.
The kid next door and your kid try a quickie oil change in your garage, but overturn the pan in process.
\ Remedy: First, mop up the excess with whatever is at hand that can be thrown out, until most of the oil is up. Then get a hardware store cleaner to finish the job. Gunk is a cleaning agent that works on long-standing spots on driveways or in garages, too.
The slugs in your back yard are as big as baseballs and are chewing away at the bottom of your lovely, vine-ripening tomatoes.
\ Remedy: Find a very shallow pan, wedge it into the garden dirt so that it's like a tiny pond, then fill the pond with beer. (Some say put a little sugar in the beer, too.) Exit slugs.
Audrey, sweet 16, goes to the ocean and spends an hour and 45 minutes in the sun, unprotected.
\ The remedy for her lobster-colored burn: Buy some aloes plants right away at a local nursery, break and squeeze the leaves, rubbing the gel on the burn and keeping the liquid, and anything else, away from her eyes.
You leave the wheelbarrow in the back yard by accident and forget it for quite a while. On your return from vacation and after heavy rains and glaring sun, the inside looks like something dredged up from the Titanic.
\ Remedy: Get the best wire brush you can find and scrub off the rust. Then back to the hardware store or paint counter to find a zinc-based paint that will inhibit rust. Rust-Oleum will work. Permanent cure: Drill a hole at the lowest point in your wheel barrow's metal so moisture will drain out. Bang the metal surrounding the hole so it forms a depression.
Little Bobby, 6, squashes a wad of chewing gum into the long, fine hair of his 2-year-old sister.
\ Remedy: When sister stops crying, rub creamy peanut butter in the hair and comb out the rubbery gum. Slowly.
Bart, 5, drives his battery-controlled dump truck into the swimming pool to "clean it off." It is clean, but now it doesn't work.
\ Remedy: Quickly pull batteries from truck (with needle-nosed pliers); dry off battery receptacle; let truck dry in air and breeze and check for corrosion. Reload with fresh batteries.
Amy, age 8, can't seem to be able to get swimming suit, towel and goggles to the pool in same trip. Brings two but not others.
\ Remedy: give her a really nifty duffel bag she won't leave home without.
You forget that you left your best $90 pair of leather snow boots behind the basement stairs back in March. When you find them, they're as green as the Amazon valley with mildew.
\ Remedy: Clean up the boots with ammonia, then saddle-soap them. Next time you store them, get little silica gel packs and put them in the shoes to inhibit mildew.
The gang comes over for the big cookout and the cocktail hour is under way. You have $38.45 worth of very prime beef over the coals with the grill's lid in the up position. There's a sudden, scary, Wagnernian flare-up of flames - out of control! People scream.
\ Remedy: Lower the lid at once and close the vents. The fire burns itself out. Don't douse with water; that will just spread the flames.
by CNB