Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, February 5, 1991 TAG: 9102050567
SECTION: NEWSFUN PAGE: NF1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Tammy Poole/Newsfun editor
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
You've just eaten your third slice of pizza and finished your second soft drink. The Nintendo game is going non-stop. Everyone plans to stay up till 6 a.m., but you're ready to go to sleep. You don't want to be called a baby, so you try to stay awake.
Welcome to the sleepover.
"I have friends over a lot, and I go to my friends' houses a lot, said Brandon Williams of Pembroke. "On my birthday I have about seven or nine spend the night. It gets wild! We have pillow fights at 2 in the morning. One time we put toothpaste on one friend's back, stuck a dirty sock in his mouth, messed up his hair with hairspray. We hide each other's clothes and lock each other outside. It's fun!"
But what may be fun to one kid may be miserable to another.
Kim Reynolds of Roanoke said she spent the night with some friends. "They treated me and another girl like slaves, so I went home and never spoke to them again."
Barbara Comito, executive director of the Family Enrichment Council, in Port Monmouth, N.J., is against sleepovers. "Many parents I talk to also are against sleepovers. They don't mind their children visiting their friends or staying late, but they don't want them spending the night," she said.
The reason she does not like the idea of kids spending the night at their friends' homes is because "no matter how well you think you know someone, you don't really know them, or what goes on at their house."
Comito says to have an agreement with your parents that you can call them to come and get you, no matter what time it is, if you go to a sleepover and something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable.
"Children can always pretend to be sick and go home," Comito said. "Make Mom and Dad the scapegoat. Just get out of a situation you are not comfortable in."
Elizabeth Crary, author of the book "Pick Up Your Socks and Other Skills Growing Children Need," thinks that sleepovers are important socially to many children, especially those in elementary and middle school.
If your mom and dad do not want you to spend the night with any of your friends, ask them why they feel that way and what it would take to make them feel better about it, Crary said.
With younger children, their parents might feel better about a sleepover if they met the other child's parents and talked to them before the child spent the night, Crary said. "The number one thing is to have the parent ask themselves what they think is going to happen?" Crary said. "If your parents think you will be in some sort of physical danger, then they are right to refuse."
Crary said parents should not be afraid to let their child spend the night with friends if they are "afraid their little darling will get her feelings hurt and mommy won't be there to make her feel better."
Jacquie Julien, 7, is in the second grade at East Salem Elementary School. She said she has been to three sleepovers. "We play games like follow the leader and board games. We read books, and talk," she said. "We also like to eat. My favorite snacks are Cheetos and pizza."
Jacquie said she has never gotten homesick while spending the night at a friend's house, but if you do, "the best thing to do is to play a fun game to take your mind off of it."
Donna Henderson, a first-grade teacher at Fishburn Park Elementary School in Roanoke, said some younger children can handle being away from home all night, but many kids aren't ready until they are in the third grade or even older.
"I think it's important to know the parents well, and to have every minute organized," she said.
Also, do not have the sleepover on a school night, Henderson said. "After staying up late, the children are groggy or irritable the next day."
If you are planning a sleepover, try to have a schedule so your guests don't get bored, and start causing trouble, Henderson said. She recommends having a theme for a sleepover. Here are some she recommends:
A garden party where each child makes her own hat out of paper plates, and makes plants out of paper in fake pots.
A race car party where each child brings his own vehicle and races it down the driveway or inside the house on a flat board.
A bike party where kids decorate their bicycles and have a contest for the best one.
A dress-up party where kids come dressed up in jazzy outfits based on different themes like the '50s.
A craft party where kids can pick out different crafts to make.
Henderson also recommends that kids help make snacks for the sleepover as part of the activities. Make sure your parents supervise, she said. For example, you can help make your own pizza or sundaes.
If you are invited to a sleepover, remember that you are in someone else's home and should follow the rules of that household. Don't eat too much, and have a good time.
by CNB