ROANOKE TIMES

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SATURDAY, February 9, 1991                   TAG: 9102090100
SECTION: YOUR WEDDING                    PAGE: W-18   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: By SARAH COX
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium


AT SOME BRIDAL SHOWERS, ALMOST ANYTHING GOES

There are as many kinds of showers as there are weddings. Younger, first-time brides seem to be having the traditional showers - lots of presents, some games, all women, punch, cake and mints. But as the ages of brides increase, and as second marriages become more common, showers have changed to match the times.

"Games are pretty much out," Betty Perry of Weddings Unlimited of Roanoke said. "And, sometimes, couple showers are given now. The groom enjoys opening the gifts, too."

Sherri Aiken of Perfect Wedding, a Roanoke wedding consulting business, said cocktail parties for the couple-to-be are in vogue, as are luncheons for brides. Margo Brake said that before her second wedding she was given a work-related luncheon shower, and her presents reflected that she wasn't setting up a household for the first time.

She said silver, crystal and pretty ceramics were the kinds of gifts she received. "I didn't register and expect to get dishes. I received lots of picture frames, candlesticks, things to be used on special occasions. I'm not furnishing the first house." Brake also said her luncheon was "nice and sophisticated," not filled with party games.

She said a friend, whose second wedding is in March, doesn't want showers. "She just feels like she shouldn't do that." Brake said one reason weddings and surrounding festivities are much more subdued is that bride and groom usually foot the bill.

Perry, whose services include planning weddings, said decorating themes of weddings sometimes are carried through into showers. The recent Christmas wedding shower for Bonnie Kraus, who lives in Florida but came home for the holidays, is a good example of that. Her mother, Neita Kraus, said the shower was more traditional than many because their family is traditional. "You understand that that's not always so these days; some of their friends have couple showers, or invite a whole pack of kids."

The Kraus shower was given at Westhampton Christian Church because many of the family's friends belong to the church. And, since it was held Dec. 28, holiday decorations were still up, and the food included Christmas cookies and apple cider. Her mother said games were played - word scrambles and puzzles with wedding themes.

But it is possible to mix traditional and nouveau and come up with some pretty crazy ideas. Like the one bride-to-be Diane Bogaty recently described.

"There was one game played at a couple shower I've been to. Nobody knows everybody else, so when a guest arrives, the name of a famous person is pinned to his back. They have to go around and ask other people questions to find out "who they are." She said it's a great way to meet strangers.

Bogaty and her fiance are being given a house and garden shower in which the groom will receive gifts, too. "It's a good way to involve him because the bride usually is the one that gets all the attention."

Theme showers are limited only by imagination. Bogaty also is planning to throw a honeymoon shower for a friend. Done as a bon voyage party, it could entail gifts related to the couple's vacation, such as travel accessories, film, beach towels, journals and guide books.

She said she also has attended around-the-clock showers. The invitations assign each guest a time of day to buy a gift. For instance, coffee or an alarm clock would be for a morning present; an appointment book or answering machine for an afternoon gift; wine or glasses for evening.

The same goes for barbecue showers in which a plethora of possible presents can be brought for the groom.

Bogaty's sister and aunt are giving her a recipe shower. "Everyone bringing a gift has to attach a favorite recipe to it." She said the presents also could be related to the recipe - a quiche pan and cheese grater for quiche; cookie trays for chocolate chip cookies.

The showers are endless; the solutions relentless.

Perhaps the games just come in another format now.



 by CNB