Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, February 21, 1991 TAG: 9102210047
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: C1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: WAYDE BYARD THE WINCHESTER STAR
DATELINE: TYSONS CORNER LENGTH: Long
"I'm beginning to like myself," he said. "I know it's a battle, it's really hard to change. The most difficult thing for any human being is to change.
"I know I must change to be very productive."
Manley was reinstated by the NFL last November after a one-year drug suspension. He signed with the Phoenix Cardinals after the Washington Redskins released him.
Sweating from an intense early morning weightlifting session, Manley said he wants to make a positive statement out of a life that has known more than its share of highs and lows.
"When I leave this earth, I want my name to say something," he said. "I don't just want to leave this earth without doing what I'm here to do. Most people die and don't leave anything behind their name."
A lot of titles are attached to Manley's name in the public's collective consciousness: Pro Bowl defensive end, Redskins' career sack leader, three-time loser under the NFL's drug testing program.
It was the last title that earned him a "lifetime ban" from the NFL on Nov. 18, 1989. Previously, Manley had gone through cocaine rehabilitation in 1987, and in 1988 was suspended for 30 days by then-Commissioner Pete Rozelle after testing positive for cocaine.
His third drug offense, also involving cocaine, happened after a 37-24 loss to the Raiders on Oct. 29, 1989, in Los Angeles. Manley remembers vividly the last time he took drugs, on Halloween 1989, and the grief it caused him.
The Monday after the Raiders game, Manley asked a Redskins coach how he had played.
"He said, `You played great.' Instantly, drugs came to mind. I made a phone call. I did drugs that Monday night."
That led to Manley's missing his spot on the Fox Evening News and set off speculation about what he was doing.
Manley set up a subsequent drug buy, but was talked out of it after visiting his sponsor in a sobriety-maintenance program.
"I just couldn't go through with it. I was so petrified and scared. I didn't want to live in that pain no more. I went to his house and he talked me out of it. That's when I saw, hey, there's another way. It could be an easier and a softer way to this life," Manley said.
But before starting on the easier and softer path, Manley had to endure a final jolt, suspension by the NFL. The time needed to confirm the findings of his drug tests allowed him to play two more games after the Raiders loss. The last of these was against the Eagles in Philadelphia on Nov. 12, 1989.
"I remember sitting on the bench watching my son run around up and down the football field before the game started, about 10 o'clock that morning," he said. "And I remember [thinking] this was the last time I was going to be on a football field.
"I was sitting on the bench in tears because I enjoyed the freedom that I watched my kid have."
Manley said he was determined to go out with a bang and did just that, sacking Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham three times to bring his career total to 97. Led by Manley, the Redskins held Cunningham without a yard rushing for the first time in his pro career.
After the suspension, Manley said his first thoughts were not of resuming his career.
"The most difficult part of getting suspended was `Will I maintain my sobriety?' not whether the NFL would let me back in the league. It did cross my mind, but the most important thing was that I'd never succeeded in recovery," he said. "I would stay sober a year-and-a-half - I only had one slip in two-and-a-half years. But, still, it was a slip and I had to pay a heavy price."
A price Manley never thought he would have to pay when he began using drugs in 1986.
He said, "It's very seductive. In this type of atmosphere, professional life, it's drugs and women . . ."
Now, Manley said, he has the means to resist such temptations.
"If I conduct myself [properly], it doesn't matter what the environment, what the atmosphere may be. I have tools that I'm able to work with," he said. "Early on, I didn't have those tools because I never thought there was a problem. I just thought I was like most people - successful, had made it, and experimented with drugs. Before I knew it, I was addicted to drugs . . .
"The most important thing to me now is my family, my job, and staying sober . . .
"Now I have to stay focused. It's not easy, it's a real battle. If I sit here and tell you it's easy, I'd be lying to you. It's tough . . ."
When pressures mount, Manley, 32, finds the gym a safe haven. He comes to his sanctuary in the predawn hours to avoid the curious and worshipful alike.
"It reduces stress. Days when I feel the fear, the loneliness, I work out. I play tennis, I've got meetings . . . I have a program I've got to follow in order for me to maintain my sobriety and my sanity," he said.
The NFL requires Manley to take two drug tests a week, down from the three he was earlier subjected to.
"That's the best thing that ever happened to me, because if I wasn't tested I don't where I'd be," he said. "There are days when I'm frustrated when things ain't going my way. You think the solution is to turn to drugs and it's not."
Keywords:
FOOTBALL PROFILE
by CNB