Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, February 26, 1991 TAG: 9102260387
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: NF1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: TAMMY POOLE NEWSFUN EDITOR
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
"Why? Because I listen to heavy metal [music]. For some reason they all have a problem with the way I dress and act. My parents don't say much. They let me listen and dress the way I want. I just wish [other] people would let me listen and dress the way I want."
Some kids want to fit in with everyone else. They don't want to look different and risk being teased.
Others, like Dolly, want to be different. They have their own special look or characteristics. To be different, a kid may shave his or her head, pierce her nose or wear funky clothes.
Recently the state made it legal for school boards to require pupils to wear uniforms. Schools that choose to use this law can make their pupils dress alike, so everyone would look alike.
Some folks agree with this idea because too many kids pay attention to what they are wearing instead of what is happening in class.
Others argue that this would cost too much money or cut down on the individuality.
Wanting to express yourself in your own way is not wrong - in fact it's healthy, says school psychologist Rachel Goodman.
"This is a child's way of trying to express his identity. It's his way of saying, `I am an individual. I'm not an extension of my parents,' " Goodman said.
While having one's ear pierced four times may make a kid feel special, this type of individual expression can "drive parents up the wall," Goodman said. "It can be a real source of concern, especially for socially conscious parents."
If you walk down the hall of a typical middle school, you'll see lots of different styles, Goodman said. The two biggest things kids do to express themselves are changing one's hairstyle and the kind of clothes he or she wears.
Several trends are popular right now, Goodman said.
"With hairstyles, it goes all the way from the skinhead look to long hair," Goodman said. "Some boys also like [to put their hair into] a pony tail or wear a braid."
Some girls (and boys) also use a lot of hairspray, mousse or styling gel to achieve a certain look.
Popular fashions include the military look for boys. "They are wearing combat boots and fatigues for the macho look," Goodman said.
Girls seem to dress either very neatly or "like Madonna who wears some outlandish clothes. Anything goes with anything - flowers, checks, stripes, colors that don't match. Underwear on the outside . . . " she said.
Why can one kid wear a different style and be considered a trendsetter, while another kid in the same clothes would be considered a nerd?
"I think this depends on his overall position in the peer group," Goodman said. "Some kids cope well socially and whatever they do is considered neat."
However, if a child who is not as socially acceptable among his peers wears a new or different style of clothing to school, he probably will be labeled "weird" by his peers, Goodman said.
Whether you are a trendsetter, or just want to be different, first tell your parents what you want to do, and explain why. Make sure you have their approval before you do something that may be difficult to change if they disapprove.
But what if you really, really, really want to have your initials cut into your hair? Or if you want to shave your eyebrows? Or get your ears pierced?
Your best chance of getting your parents to agree is to work out a compromise, Goodman said.
"I knew a kid who wanted to dye his hair purple. His parents agreed to this provided that he keep his hair covered whenever he was in a social situation, such as eating dinner at a restaurant with them or while playing an instrument in the band. He agreed, and everything worked out fine," Goodman said.
If you do work out a compromise, make sure you keep your part of the bargain. By being responsible, your parents may even let you get a tattoo bearing the name of your boyfriend or girlfriend. And then again, maybe not . . .
by CNB