Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, March 12, 1991 TAG: 9103120068
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: B1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Dear Mr. Shamy:
Within an hour of reading your column today I had five "no postage needed" cards ready for the mailperson to pick up. This pick-up feature adds fillip to the whole project. Thank you for your suggestion. F.W., Lexington.
Dear F.W., Postal-customer terrorism is ugly and dangerous, but someone has to do it. Keep dropping those "no postage necessary" freebies in the blue boxes. My heart bleeds for the junk-mailers who will subsidize our real mail.
\ Dear Mr. Shamy:
I read your column religiously to see whom you can slander next. About your article . . . defaming the North Carolina highway system (specifically the stretch of U.S. 220 south to the Piedmont-Triad International Airport) I have only one comment.
Why don't you try not using the road? Fly out of the metropolitan Roanoke airport. I can assure you that North Carolinians would be more than happy if you keep yourself (presumably including your smart-mouth comments) at home.
L.H.N., Roanoke.
Dear L.H.N., Generally speaking, libel is written, slander is oral. Unless you're hearing voices, my column doesn't slander. Of course, anyone who defends that stretch of road in North Carolina is goofing with some powerful hallucinogens, so strange voices are not out of the question.
\ Dear Ed:
It seems that every metropolitan area in the country has airborne traffic reporters these days. . . . I realize that this is expensive, but perhaps Roanoke could begin by posting a reporter equipped with binoculars, a powerful scope and a cellular phone up on Mill Mountain for direct communications with radio stations. . . . Further suggestions: That the reporter have a lawn chair, pith helmet in summer and a large umbrella in case of rain.
R.H., Fincastle.
Dear R.H., Preposterous! Everyone knows that Fort Lewis Mountain would be a much better vantage point for traffic ogling, even if morning glare is a problem from that angle. Add a pair of Ray-Bans to the equipment list.
\ Dear Mr. Shamy:
Since I own a couple of guns, neither of which has been fired in 40 years or more, and do not go around shooting up highway signs or insulators on utility poles. . . . I resent your calling me a "gun goon."
F.M., Bedford.
Dear F.M., Forty years? I have a timing light I haven't used since 1983, and I thought that might be a record. You've got me beat.
\ Dear Mr. Shamy:
I am a hostess/cashier at Parker's Seafood Restaurant in Roanoke. I would just like for you to know that regardless of what your critics are writing to you, my co-workers and I really enjoy your column.
A.R., Copper Hill.
Dear A.R., Gee, thanks! Do the fried scallops come with that?
by CNB