Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, March 15, 1991 TAG: 9103150036
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: C1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
That lowly soothsayer warned Julius Caesar in the opening act, right out on some public street in Rome.
So what's Caesar do? Does he stay home on March 15?
No, of course he doesn't. He says of this louse and his crystal ball: "He is a dreamer; let us leave him."
And sure enough, March 15 rolls around and Caesar gets more knives stuck in him than your average Christmas party cheeseball (Act III, Scene 1, Monterey Jack).
So today is the ides of March.
Shakespeare's soothsayer has warned that this is a dangerous date.
We should beware spitting shortstops. Major league baseball's ban on chewing tobacco among minor league ballplayers does not extend to the Salem Buccaneers or to the rest of the Carolina League. Box seat ticket holders should continue to wear Hefty bags.
We should beware the ominous rumbling of distant financial thunder. Today, perhaps, is the day that Virginia Tech and the city of Roanoke joyously reveal that taxpayers will have the opportunity to make a mandatory property tax contribution to the revival of the once grand and future great Hotel Roanoke.
We should beware that Roanoke County, increasingly desperate for a source of water, may today unveil plans for a water train, to be operated by Norfolk Southern, from Carvins Cove to Cave Spring.
We should beware that, for the umpteenth consecutive day, a light sensor on top of the H&C Coffee Sign on top of Billy's Ritz did not tell the historic sign to automatically flicker off as dawn spread through the valley. The historic sign hasn't flickered off, or flickered on, for lo these many years. There's no light at the end of this muddle.
We should beware those blasted awning poles in center sidewalk at Center in the Square. We should always beware them, not just on the ides of March.
We should beware that Salem, barring its firefighters from using any tobacco products, may be legally obligated to build a smoke train, to be operated by Norfolk Southern, to carry secondhand smoke to Eagle Rock.
We should beware that, with spring just a week away, Roanoke enters yet another season of outdoor hilarity, with dog owners still clinging to the precious right to let their pooches drop dung anywhere on public property - including sidewalks.
We should beware hucksters selling tickets, still, to the Metro Conference Tourney last weekend in Roanoke. Collectors are permitted to buy the unused tickets in two-game blocks, for just $29 per block. Hucksters are trying to peddle the entire seven-game set for the full $70 price.
We should beware that Saturday opens trout season in Virginia, and grown humans will crowd the river banks vying for the wily, lobotomized fish that has been raised in a concrete bin, dumped into an icy river and would lunge at a cocktail onion dangled on a hook if it meant salvation from the wild.
We should beware that the Regional Airport Commission today mulls a human train, to be operated by Norfolk Southern, to cart people between the city and their destinations.
Et tu, Cheeseball?
by CNB