Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, March 17, 1991 TAG: 9103170062
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: D-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Thanks to Willie and to Jerry Duncan, the heat rises to a cruising altitude of about 35,000 feet.
And when that heat falls next Feb. 21, may there be a spot in the comforting arms of mercy for the good people of Laredo, Texas.
Stepping onto the simmering Tarmac in that dusty town on the Mexican border will be one of the numbest collections of guts and pipes and tongue ever to coil inside a human frame.
Our representative in this galaxy's meanest hot-pepper-eating contest will be ready to take on the legendary Johnny Espinoza.
And we are going, folks.
You have followed the saga of Robert Hager, who for six years has reigned as Roanoke's premier hot-pepper eater. Each year,* Hager chomps and swallows more jalapeno peppers than any other person could, would, or should and wins the pepper-eating contest during May's Virginia Chili Cook-Off in Roanoke.
(*Hager did not actually win last year. Someone else ate 32 peppers, Hager ate 31, both in five minutes. The bum challenger was crowned king over Hager's protests that the new champ had left too many pepper seeds and too much meat to qualify as winner.
Laredo's jalapeno festival is the most prestigious event of its kind. Contestants who have no regard for the future of their small intestines gobble peppers for 15 minutes.
Johnny Espinoza wins year after year there, just as Robert Hager does here.
If Johnny Espinoza can eat 73 jalapenos in 15 minutes and Robert Hager can eat 31 in five minutes, how many days would it take a train traveling 45 mph to plant as many potatoes on six hectares as Farmer A with a shovel and Farmer B with a tractor?
The math shows we win.
We floated Hager's quandary here and opened the Hager Hombre Hot Stuff Fund, a hot line to raise the $600 or so it would take to get our champ to Laredo.
We raised $5 in a week.
Enter Willie, the mountainside hermit from the hinterlands that jumble up where the Roanoke and New River valleys can't decide who is which is why.
Willie likes his privacy. You won't learn his last name from me even if you force-feed me jalapeno marmalade.
Jerry Duncan's last name is Duncan. He's a partner with Willie in the Marcus Hunter Agency, a travel agency in Sunnyvale, Calif.
Jerry Duncan, Blacksburg native. Humanist. Neo-Californian.
Willie grieves for Robert Hager, grounded in Roanoke while Espinoza chews to easy victory.
Willie calls Jerry Duncan.
They agree it is their calling. A great hand is guiding them.
"This man from the Roanoke Valley is going to be the next pepper-eating champion of the world. He's going to Laredo," says Jerry Duncan. "On us."
They're paying for the plane ticket. We're going, folks. Roanoke's going to be famous.
The ticket offer is for Robert Hager or anyone who can defeat him in the pepper-eating contest coming up just seven weeks from now.
Willie is psyched. Jerry Duncan is dead serious.
Robert Hager has just the humility you want in your champion-elect: "I think," says Hager modestly, "I can win it all."
by CNB