Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SATURDAY, March 23, 1991                   TAG: 9103230023
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: E1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

NOT BAD, FOR A GUY FROM THE SEWER

What he did was stick this Rotor-Rooter into a sewer line and pull out a root that was 46 feet, 9 inches long.

Listen, pal. You don't do something like that if you just chug along in the same old rut and never aim for the stars.

What this guy did was win the grand prize in the first annual Monster Root Contest, sponsored, of course, by the people who make Roto-Rooter.

According to this news release - you can guess who it was from - the guy who rotoed the root out didn't get the prize. His boss did.

But you have to believe that the name of Jon Veal will live as long as men strive for a better world and harmony in their lives.

His boss is a man called Chuck Romick, who is president of Greater Los Angeles Roto-Rooter.

The news release said Romick "has been working for Roto-Rooter his entire life" - which suggests he is a dedicated person who didn't spend a whole lot of time with his mother, and probably missed the junior-senior prom.

Romick was overwhelmed. "We couldn't believe the size of this root when it was pulled out," he said, dramatically, I guess.

Before you get cute here, let me say that I don't know whether they're going to bronze this root or not.

Anyway, although it is kind of anti-climactic to Jon Veal and his accomplishment, I thought you might want to know a little about Roto-Rooters.

It seems that a man named Samuel Blanc spent a whole afternoon in 1933 using a hand auger to unclog a drain.

As a consequence of this - bring the audio with the patriotic music up now - he invented the Roto-Rooter.

(Actually, I once spent three days unclogging a drain. Did I invent anything and make millions of dollars? Noooooooooo.)

I like to think old Sam Blanc went home that night, smelling rather vividly, and told his wife: "Lettie (her real name, according to my sources), there's simply got to be a better way to unclog drains. I'm not going to stand idly by. I'm going invent the Roto-Rooter."

"I know that you can do anything you set out to do, Sam," she said, eyes moist with love and admiration. "Men of your vision have helped make this country the envy of the world."

I'm waiting for the movie.

Maybe they can get Don Ameche to play Sam. The Roto-Rooter would be child's play for Don, who invented the telephone.