Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, January 1, 1992 TAG: 9112310189
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 7 EDITION: HOLIDAY
SOURCE: Mike Mayo
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
B-MOVIES STILL DELIVER PLEASURES
A few years ago, the shelves of video stores were filled with cheap
B-movies. Now they're filled with hideously expensive B-movies like
"Terminator 2."
Overall, the level of technical quality has risen substantially, but at
heart, the B-movie hasn't changed. It's still about violence, sex and
craziness. Note these five new guilty pleasures:
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"Showdown in Little Tokyo" is your basic martial arts/buddy comedy. Dolph
Lundgren plays an American cop who was raised in Japan. Brandon Lee (son of
Bruce) is a cop of Japanese ancestry who's so Americanized he doesn't even
know what sushi is. Together they must stop a tatooed gangster (Cary Hiroyuki
Tagawan) from taking over Los Angeles' Little Tokyo.
In the process, every macho cliche and fantasy gets its due. Lee
demonstrates some good moves and a light touch with dialogue.
The mixture of sex, violence and poor taste is so strong that this one
deserves a hard R-rating, which is just what fans of this kind of movie are
looking for.
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"Netherworld" is the latest from Full Moon Entertainment. The company
specializes in slickly made horror movies with high production values,
little-known casts, inventive scripts and wild effects. This one is no
exception. The story has to do with reincarnation, magic and such on a
plantation in the Louisiana backwater. Director David Schmoeller creates an
odd waking nightmare quality that's chilling in the film's best moments.
Some of the effects are really ingenious, but the show is stolen by
character actor Robert Burr as a deliciously decadent, Edsel-driving lawyer.
Watch all the way through the end of the credits for a nice final joke.
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"Class of Nuke'Em High, Part 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown" is Troma at its best and
worst, though with this kind of movie, best and worst are virtually
interchangeable. Troma is the New Jersey-based company that has given us such
alternative classics as "Squeeze Play" and "Toxic Avenger." Even judged by the
studio's own loose standards, this one is a new high in overall cheesiness.
Why are the students at Nuke'Em High acting so strangely? Where did the
Godzilla-size squirrel come from? What does Professor Holt (Lisa Gaye) have
hidden in her Marge Simpson hairdo? What's wrong with Victoria's (Leesa
Rowland) navel? Why can't handsome but dumb-as-a-post Roger (Brick Bronsky)
get a date?
Troma devotees will be delighted; all others will be disgusted.
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"Bikini Summer" may be the guiltiest guilty pleasure on this list. I can't be
certain because I watched it under special circumstances - a killer head cold
that virtually lobotomized me for 24 hours. I probably looked just like Dolph
Lundgren that day. It was all I could do to follow this story of sun, surf,
silicone and Spandex.
The biggest "name" in the credits is Shelley Michelle who was Julia
Roberts' body double in "Pretty Woman." The character Big Earl sums up the
plot when he says, "You got your ecology, you got your bikinis, and you got
your beer." The movie still seemed innocent and silly, though, for one in my
condition, perhaps a bit too intellectual.
Finally, we have "Do or Die," the latest from the undisputed King of the
B's,Andy Sidaris. Due in stores early next month, it's another slickly made
exercisein non-acting, nudity and model airplanes. (Yes, model airplanes.)
Sidaris has his formula down to perfection now. The super-spy plot is just an
excuse to get several overdeveloped young actors and actresses together on
screen. Sidaris's movies tend to look like Al Capp's "Li'l Abner" comic
strips on film, with big dumb guys being outfoxed by big aggressive women.
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The essentials:
(Guilty pleasures, by definition, contain strong language, nudity,
violence, etc. These are all rated R.)
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Showdown in Little Tokyo, **1/2 Warner. 78 min.
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Netherworld, *** Paramount. 87 min.
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Class of Nuke'Em High, Part 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown, **1/2. Media. 97 min.
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Bikini Summer, **1/2 PM Entertainment. 90 min.
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Do or Die, *** RCA/Columbia. 97 min.