Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, January 31, 1992 TAG: 9201310445
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-8 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE:
DATELINE: LENGTH: Short
HOW FOOTBALL BECAME CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
FOOTBALL did not begin in the mid-1800s. Nor is its greatest hero one of the 300-pound giants with a 24 1/2-inch neck measurement.Football, as we know it, really started the day a promoter stood on the 20-yard line of a football field named Tara, raised a copy of "Heidi" to the great quarterback in the sky and cried: "As God is my witness, this will not happen again."
He has kept his promise. Since that fateful day, football has been the untouchable activity that takes precedence over announcements of world peace, cures for AIDS and direct flights to heaven.
In ensuing years, children have been named for football greats, giant steel structures have been dedicated to the activity, and electricity has been reduced to the second most important commodity in the world. Sundays, Mondays and periodic 3 1/2-hour time slots are gift-wrapped and handed to football with no thought of variety, fairness or interest.
The public breaking of bones and scratching of behinds number in the thousands. Chips, Cokes and beers spilled on carpets number even more. In these time periods, statements are ignored, questions are unanswered, and children who have fallen down the stairs are cared for during halftime.
Thanksgiving dinners are either ignored or warmed over seven times. And Super Bowl Sunday is considered to be one of the year's holy days. In the name of football, books are written, national and international organizations are formed, conversations are monopolized and marriages are destroyed.
Yes sir! In my book, football is rated very high - right up there with mud wrestling, buttermilk and beauty pageants. ELEANOR NECESSARY NEW CASTLE