Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, February 22, 1992 TAG: 9202220091
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE:
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
NO! DON'T RUN, BECAUSE:
DOWNRIGHT MEAN-SPIRITED:Your articles suck s---. Go back up north where you might be understood besides displaced Yankee a-------. P.S., You're pretty funny in person, why don't you take an English expression class at Virginia Western if you stay?
You are a ----headed Yankee Jew.
We already have too many damn Yankees who are trying to run our schools, our government, and our lives.
We don't need more of your smart mouth in Congress - go back North and blow it out.
You are a damn Yankee and a dummy.
For the same reason folks don't send mules to school: There are enough dumb a---s their already! If you've enough b---s to print this, I'll have enough to I.D. myself.
The only thing we want you to run for is the next bus, train or plane out of town. And Godspeed.
You would fit in too well with the bums already there.
If you were to leave town it would be just the luck of the Roanoke Valley reading public for the Roanoke Times to hire someone with worse taste than yours.
JUST SAY NO:
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, but Shamy on you for considering to run. No way, Eddie.
As my mother (died, 1978) used to say, `Mercy, what's the world coming to?"
It wouldn't be long before you'd be just like the rest of them in Congress.
Your motives are honorable, but you, like the rest, would not represent the whole area.
GEE, THANKS:
It would destroy a strong voice in the wilderness, not to mention ruin your life.
Your sense of humor as a columnist is needed by your fans, not by Congress. They are already a three-ring circus.
The Roanoke Valley cannot afford to lose a good writer - at any cost.
VAGUELY THREATENING:
Because you will be unemployed, before and after election.
ABSOLUTELY CONFUSED:
Anyone who doesn't know that the average roll of toilet paper is 4 1/2 inches wide is not to be trusted in higher office, particularly Congress. Dave Barry you are not.