Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, February 23, 1992 TAG: 9202230095
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: B-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MIKE HUDSON STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
GROUP HELPS DISABLED STAND TALL - EVEN IF THEY CAN'T
Sharon Lee was shy when she first started coming to the Center for Independence for the Disabled.Back then: "I just stuttered. I didn't say hardly a word. I had no confidence. In other words: I was scared of everything."
Now: "I don't put myself down anymore. I don't cry as much. I think I can do just about anything."
Lee was hit by a car in 1987. The accident left her with severe knee injuries that have required bone-graft surgery.
She and other people who come to the CID gain strength from each other through support group meetings. They come together every couple of weeks, talk about their lives, their challenges, their disappointments.
"In here," Esther Britt said, "you can say things no matter how bad or good."
On a recent Tuesday afternoon, Lee and Britt sat in a half-circle of chairs with Debbie Boehler, Carolyn Parrish and Sandy Scott.
All five were in the CID's conference room for a session of the women's support group that meets twice a month. Pat Fairchild, the center's counselor for independent living skills, leads the discussions.
Boehler said her reasons for coming are simple: "I like the company."
Boehler and her husband, Rich, both have had strokes. They were the first two participants when the CID opened in 1989.
Sharon Lee has been coming to the CID since the fall of 1990. She said she enjoys helping other people who come to the center, fetching sodas for them or whatever else they need.
"I think I've got a little sensitivity training since I've been out here," Lee said. "This is a great bunch of people."
Carolyn Parrish has been coming to the center for a shorter time, since last fall.
Parrish was born with cerebral palsy. "There's no cure," she said. "I've been to doctors on top of doctors."
When she was younger, she could run and play despite her disability. She was valedictorian of her high school class and went on to raise two children.
"One thing I'm thankful for: I have two sons; they both walk just fine. My first son; he walked at 10 months. Thank the Lord they're both healthy."
In recent years, however, muscle spasms from her palsy have gotten worse. "When I want to do the best, that's when it's the worst. I don't know when the muscle spasms are coming: Down I go."
She broke an ankle when a spasm caused her to fall.
Now, even though she can walk fine most of the time, she uses a metal walker to get around, to catch herself if she starts to fall.
"Sometimes I can walk real good. I would like to take this thing and throw it through the window and never see it again. I despise it."
She likes coming to the CID. "I've learned a lot by listening to others' stories."
On this day, Parrish told the group that she loathes the holidays. They leave her depressed. She wishes she could go to sleep before Thanksgiving and wake up Jan. 2.
Still, during December, "I didn't miss a meeting. I was sick the first meeting, but I made it here. I couldn't talk, but I made it here."
Sharon Lee broke in: "If you had slept through December, you wouldn't have made it to the Christmas party and seen me do the watusi."
The women laughed.
Britt, who commutes to the support group meetings from her home in Dublin, Pulaski County, told everyone: "Before I came down here, I didn't go out anywhere, except maybe to church."
A car wreck in 1979 injured her left leg, forcing a series of surgeries that eventually led to amputation.
Now she has an artificial leg and walks with a cane.
Britt, who used to be a nurse, said that other people act strangely toward you when you have a handicap. "Just because I'm crippled in my leg doesn't mean I'm crippled in my brain."
She explains her disability to children in her neighborhood. Sometimes, she gets out in her battery-operated wheelchair to ride with them while they're on their bicycles.
"Coming down here has been a real help to me," Britt said.
"You were really going through a hard time," Fairchild said.
"I still am," Britt said. "But I handle it better."
Sandy Scott described what the CID has done for her in just a few words: "This group has helped me accept my difficulties."
Scott, who walks with two canes, has multiple sclerosis.
She was in a grocery store last summer when the door closed on her. "Knocked me flat," she said.
Scott tore ligaments and has been looking, unsuccessfully, for a lawyer to take her case against the supermarket.
Esther Britt said that group support is vital. Otherwise, people would feel lonely and hopeless. "The more a person has to deal with themselves, the worse they get mentally," Britt said. "When you feel better mentally, you feel better physically."