Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: TUESDAY, March 10, 1992                   TAG: 9203100411
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A-7   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: 
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

FROM STUDENT OF THE MONTH TO OUTCAST

If I had been older when I became pregnant, the experience might not have been so trying. Being only 15 at the time made my life very difficult.

In the beginning, I was pushed away from people I thought were my friends. I felt as if I had been abandoned by everyone, including the baby's father. We definitely had our share of arguments and fights.

Because my peers treated me like an outcast, I dreaded coming to school. Though a few months earlier I'd been named "student of the month" by my teachers, that was no comfort to me because I was treated as an alien in my own world. I was haunted by glares of distaste and bitterness from people who had been my friends. They whispered and pointed at me as if I had killed someone. It made me feel as if it were the end of the world.

During my pregnancy, when I felt the life moving inside me, it seemed like a miracle. The idea of my body producing another human thrilled me. Yet unanswered questions terrified me. I had no idea what I would do when she came. Counselors and other adults tried to help, but no one can prepare a girl for what happens when she gives birth.

Giving birth to a baby is a tremendous physical burden. However, the financial and emotional suffering can be overwhelming. I was depressed throughout most of the pregnancy. Sometimes I'm still depressed. When the baby is asleep, I lie on my bed and cry. Physically, my body is drained of its energy and will not cooperate with me.

All of the responsibility that has been thrust upon me has robbed me of my youth.

Every girl in the world needs to weigh the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy. She must know that it can and will happen to her! She and her partner need to protect themselves from the the social, financial, physical and emotional pressures that come to children who have children.

Dropping out of school to work or trying to juggle school, a job and baby care are not good situations for raising a child. A baby takes time, hard work, patience, love and nurturing. And there's a major conflict involved if a teen-age mother is used to going out often. That baby demands 24 hours of attention - and more - every day.

Mine was an unplanned pregnancy, but I will never regret having my baby daughter. She is my life and she means the world to me. I believe that she cares about me even when the cold world doesn't.

Watching her grow, listening to her "talk" to me, feeding and changing her, even being awakened in the middle of the night, are a joy.

Although I will never regret having her, I feel very strongly that every young girl needs to think long and crucially before taking on this much responsibility. This is a joy that needs to be postponed until a person has the emotional, educational and financial background necessary to bring up a child in today's society.

Jane