Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, March 11, 1992 TAG: 9203110178
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-8 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: PAUL DELLINGER
DATELINE: DUBLIN LENGTH: Medium
"Everybody tends to blame the parents. . . . But there's nobody out there helping the parents," she said. "Parents don't go to `parent school.' They're just people who have kids."
But there are tips that can help parents do a good job in raising their offspring.
Miano is preparing a parenting program to be offered in August. She gave school PTA members a sneak preview Monday night, and got their reactions and suggestions for improving it.
Miano concentrated on 10 areas where parents should play key roles.
To help students produce quality homework, she recommended carving out a two-hour period of quiet time free of TV, phone and other distractions.
Parents should not believe the student's insistence that studying is helped by having a radio on, even if the student believes it, she said. "We don't want you to help them with their work. We want you to provide the climate," she said.
She recommended student involvement, with family support, in school activities. It might seem that the activities take time away from school work, she said, but active students get the best grades.
Parents need to communicate with the child and the child's school. A child's reaction sometimes will be " `Butt out, this isn't your business.' Well, that's not true," Miano said. "Don't butt out. Become more involved. If they want you to butt out, there's probably something going on."
She said the school has high expectations of students academically, behaviorally and ethically - and so should parents.
There are times when negotiation over rules stops, she said. "Pull rank. Say `This is it.' . . . You don't convince them, you tell them."
Communication is the key to preventing substance abuse. Teens should expect rules on this. They know parents will be awake and waiting for them when they come home.
See that students eat properly - including breakfast - and get enough sleep. Exercise helps with fitness too, she said: "Anything for 20 minutes three times a week."
Community service gives young people a sense of accomplishment and should be encouraged. And Miano recommends against jobs during the week. "School is work. It takes 7 1/2 hours a day, plus evenings," she said.
Parents need to help build self-esteem and provide emotional support, sometimes simply by listening to the young person. "Kids don't really think you care, a lot of times," Miano said.
by CNB