Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, March 13, 1992                   TAG: 9203130105
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: B1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

FLORISTS DON'T LIKE THORNS IN THEIR SIDES

"Dear Mr. Shamy, As a representative of all parts of the floral industry including growers, wholesale florists and retail florists, the Society of American Florists often responds to floral publicity.

Your Valentine's Day article profiled a florist who dealt with increased rose prices by simply closing his shop for three days. He wanted to give the impression he was a protester, a champion of the beleaguered consumer, someone willing to make a statement . . . ."

M.C., Society of American Florists

Dear M.C., . . . but you, paid to hawk the interests of the trade, didn't appreciate him violating the brotherhood by admitting to consumers that $70 for a dozen premium roses might be a tad steep for the average working stiff. Have I got that right?

\ "Dear Ed Shamy, Just another note from your loyal ol' fan. Don't ever stop writing for my Roanoke Times newspaper. How I do enjoy your write-ups. Thanks!"

Gratefully, A.C., Pulaski

Dear A.C., Why, thank you! What are you doing in Pulaski, Mom?

\ "Dear Mr. Shamy, [New license plates] would cost $10. And . . . they would only become another in the plethora of styles we already have in the state. Ye gods, is there no end to this madness? Why can't we have one standard - and attractive - plate and phase out all the others?"

W.P., Salem

Dear W.P., Why? Because government has finally heeded taxpayers' advice to act like a business: Give the customer less while charging 'em more.

\ "Dear Ed, As a coincidence, I was sitting just behind Robert Hager on his first-class flight to Charlotte. I knew immediately the man was a celebrity when everyone fawned over his status. . . . . I knew he was a probable winner [in the World Pepper Eating Championship] when he exclaimed that Roanoke peppers were much, much hotter than those Tex-Mex kind. I once came near a Tex-Mex kind and knew enough not to even taste it."

N.D., Roanoke

Dear N.D., The championship peppers weren't so hot, but they were oily and pickled and revolting.

\ "Dear Mr. Shamy, With all the put-downs you get from your readers, I have something nice for you: praise. You do a good job and I most always read your stuff."

F.M., Bedford

Dear F.M., Why thank you! Dad, what're you doing in Bedford?

| Dear Mr. Shamy, Instead of attending the physics I class in high school, you masterminded several brilliant schemes to purchase beer while only 16 years old. It shows. So it is no surprise that every time you write about something technical, you make an error. Specifically, your March 3 article on an electric car asks, "And how many miles per kilowatt does it get?" Since kilowatt, like horsepower, is a measure of power (1 kw\ .7457 hp) . . . ."

Very truly yours,

E.S., Bedford

Dear E.S., I resent your statement that I spent my time in physics class scheming beer-buying sprees. I reserved chemistry class specifically for that purpose, while physics was spent playing battleship with Catfish Widowski.