Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, March 2, 1993 TAG: 9303020105
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: KATHLEEN WILSON
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
BID FOR BACHELORS DRAWS CAT FIGHTS AND CASH
Oh, admit it. You've lived vicariously through "The Dating Game" or the "Love Connection" more than once.Last Saturday night, I witnessed what has to be the closest thing this area has to offer in the arena of dating and public humiliation.
A bachelor auction.
It's the motif of at least one episode of just about any television sitcom.
You know, Sam ("Cheers"), Frank ("Murphy Brown") or Jerry ("Seinfeld") gets talked into going on the block for some worthy cause. In a fit of massive low self-esteem, Sam (Frank, Jerry) begs Carla (Murphy, Elaine) to bid high so he doesn't look like a loser.
I joined some 60 other silly women at the Holiday Inn in Blacksburg for the American Cancer Society's 6th Annual Bid for Bachelors.
Fifteen of the bravest men who ever dared wear a tuxedo offered dream dates intended to fetch a handsome sum for cancer research.
"It's not much different than a livestock auction," said Matthew Machtay (who "likes to cook and have fun in the sun") during what you could call the meet-the-cattle segment of the evening.
This was when you got to know the bachelors up close and personal before deciding on whom you were going to lay down your fortune in the pursuit of romance.
Richard Miller, a computer consultant, even came armed with little calling cards that begged "Bid high and bid often!"
There wasn't a woman in the place who wanted her name used. Of course, there wasn't a woman in the place who would admit she was actually there to buy.
No, most were just sort of window shopping.
Only one woman I spoke to questioned the political correctness of participating. Just seconds later I overheard her whisper to her friend, "Now he's hot."
Clutching programs filled with information about the guys and their proposed date packages, we sat in the ballroom watching these walking, talking, tuxedo-clad personals ads parade past us.
"T.J. Troitino is 33 and is a regional manager for Tri-Tel Communications," emcee Peggy Eaton told us. "He enjoys skiing, tennis and golf and is looking for an athletic, intelligent woman with a sense of humor, who is passionate and can express her feelings."
A woman wearing a teal dress bid feverishly to win T.J.'s scenic drive to the Greenbrier, where she was promised a professional massage, dinner and dancing.
In the audience, fur was flying. A woman named Tina launched a rather loud protest, charging that the woman in teal had beseeched the women surrounding her not to bid for T.J., because he was her boyfriend.
Doctor No. 1, Mark Todd, who was on the block for the third year in a row, told me that his first year he went for $500; the second, $300. Inflation brought Mark down to the bargain price of $75, which included a hike to McAfee's Knob, a picnic, dinner at Alexander's and a visit to the Roanoke Comedy Club.
While 60 women squealed, the guys maintained as much dignity as possible tossing Hershey Kisses and roses to the audience. (T.J. tossed Tri-Tel promotional pens with an 800 number where I guess you could track him down if you're ready to do battle with the woman in teal.)
When the auctioneer couldn't even raise a $25 opening bid for his proposed fun-filled day at the Homestead, poor Matt stopped and pleaded, "C'mon! I'm charity! I'm tax deductable!"
All hell broke loose when L.G. Whitlock, who everyone thought looked a lot like Kenny Rogers - hit the runway. Tina, acting as Cyrano for a woman named Marlene who was too shy to bid herself, screamed, "We want you, L.G.!"
"Just get him for me," Marlene advised Tina, and didn't blink when L.G. wound up costing her $165.
One minute, you're shaking your head, wondering who the heck these lunatic women are. The next, your hand is in the air, the auctioneer is yelling, "Going . . . going . . . gone!" and some guy is hugging you.
See, I bought Billy Marullo.
And no, I don't think the newspaper is going to let me write him off as a business expense.
I prefer to think of it more as an investment. Sort of like a security deposit. I've been promised a horseback picnic and dinner overlooking Smith Mountain Lake at Bernard's Landing.
Tina later snapped up Blake Lipscomb - Doctor No. 2 - who was a steal at $80. His date package included dinner at the Library followed by "Hamlet" at Mill Mountain Theatre.
All in all, more than $3,600 was raised, according to Mimi Walker of the American Cancer Society.
Terry Moore, a 26-year-old doctor at Roanoke Memorial Hospital, went for $750.
Smart guy. He got businesses to sponsor his date. Won't cost him a dime.
"No one I know would pay money to date me," he had confided prior to the festivities.
THE PARTY LINE: If you'd like to invite Mingling columnist Kathleen Wilson to a party or social gathering, call her at 981-3434; when asked for the mailbox, dial MING (6464) and press the key. Then leave a message as directed. Or write her in care of the Features Department, Roanoke Times & World-News, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke, Va. 24010-2491.