Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, March 26, 1993 TAG: 9303260135
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: DENIS HAMILL NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
DATELINE: NEW YORK LENGTH: Long
WOODY ALLEN TELLS HOW HE COPED
It was a Thursday night in Woody Allen's penthouse duplex on Fifth Avenue overlooking Central Park, and Soon-Yi Previn had answered the door. That afternoon the Yale review board on child molestation had cleared Allen in the charges brought by Mia Farrow.Woody Allen took a seat on the couch as Previn excused herself.
"From the beginning this was about the kids," he said. "Not me. What's happened to the kids was always the story here. But I personally coped in many ways. I avoided certain things like walking past playgrounds, or pausing when I flipped TV stations if `Sesame Street' came on, toy stores, children's movies. When I saw a father on the street with his child, it sent a pang through me. Physical pain.
"But I made up my mind not to become obsessed with just my legal problems. I have seen so many people consumed by one negative thing, and it leads to self-destruction. Like guys I know who were blacklisted in the '50s. I made sure there were other things in my life. My work, my private life, movies, music, sports and the legal part of it. I had to maintain a life, a humanity."
The phone rang and it was Diane Keaton calling to congratulate him. He thanked her and told her he'd call back.
"The thing I drew from most was all the reading I'd done through my life on the Holocaust," Allen said. "The camps, the survivors. The survivors made it because they focused. The ones who occupied their minds with even the most menial chores and did so meaningfully . . . kept reminding themselves that no matter what others might think of you that you are worthy and valuable. . . . Those who focused on what was actually happening to them - the daily horror, the details of it, the reality of it - they survived. It is an amazing human resource we all have inside. It is the core of your humanity.
"Mornings were the worst. You wake up and say, `You will not see your children again. They are somewhere being fed poison about you. But you must focus on getting them out of there. This is not about you. Focus on the kids.' And I did. And do."
During those months, Allen shot a film called "Manhattan Murder Mystery" on the streets of New York. He is editing it. Some people had warned him to avoid the public, that it would be dangerous.
"Not true at all," said Allen. "There wasn't one single nasty incident during the shooting. And not on the way to Elaine's, the Knick games, in Michael's Pub. In fact, I couldn't believe the broad range of support I got from cab drivers, truck drivers giving me the thumbs up, fans at the Garden. It amazes me and touches me."
Allen said the hardest part was missing the kids.
"In the past eight months I haven't seen Dylan once and I have spent a grand total of 36 hours with Satchel, my biological son. And those visits are just two hours a week. Supervised. They are intense because you try to jam-pack a whole week into that time.
"You rush from toy to toy and you have to brush past the things he says. Things like, `I'm supposed to say I hate you.' And, `Mommy is writing a book that she says will make you go away forever.' Or, `We're getting a new daddy' and `I wish you were dead.' He would say these things but not act them. It was as if he were obliged to say them. It was hard.
"I would tell him that me and his mommy had a fight. But that it would be over soon. I always made sure to tell him that his mommy is pretty and a wonderful actress. . . .
"I would change the subject and we would go bake cookies, play with clay, show him a new toy. But every time I would start to feel bad I would remind myself that Dylan wasn't here and wonder how she was at that moment. Was she wondering why Satch could see me but not her? How confused can one kid become? And then I would have to refocus on Satchel.
"The greatest feeling that came out of [the] meeting at Yale was when the verifiers told me that I should see Dylan as soon as possible because she loves me and misses me. It brings me great joy but at the same time deep sadness. Because if she still loves me, I can't imagine how confused she is about my not seeing her. It will take a long, long time to answer all her questions."
Allen paused when he was asked about Farrow, whom he would meet in court the next day at a custody hearing that turned out to be the surprise opening of the long-awaited trial.
"I wish she would come to me with an open heart and say, `Let's put an end to this,' " he said. "But I watched her today and she was furious at the outcome. Bitter. You would think any mother would be relieved that a three-member panel, two of them women, found that her daughter had not been molested. But so deep is her venom that she actually sees this as a loss. That is terribly sad. She knows I never molested Dylan."
He was asked what he learned from the past eight months.
"A whole education in law, the press, child psychology, friendship. The child custody laws are antiquated and stacked against men. I say that as a man who loves women. It was women like my sister Letty, Jean Doumanian, Soon-Yi who helped get me through this. Fathers have few rights. The burden of guilt is on you, not on the accusers. . . . This is on me like a tattoo for life. There will always be some people who believe what I was accused of just because I was accused."
The press?
"There were reporters who would tell me they knew it wasn't true but they had to go with it big because it was so juicy," he said. "I never realized before this the motivations behind playing a story big. It scares me. I always believed truth was important. But it's pure business. . . . My manhood and my fatherhood was being torn apart in front of my eyes."
Money?
"I've spent over a couple of million already on seven lawyers, and we're not done. Now Mia wants me to pay her legal bills, $300,000 so far, trying to destroy me."
How has this affected his career?
`Not sure," he said. " `Husbands and Wives' made about what any Woody Allen film makes. A loyal audience. Some people expected it to make more because of the controversy, and when it didn't, considered it a flop. . . . I think I will go on making movies of my choice with no problem. I'm almost finished with the screenplay for the next one. It's a comedy set in the '20s. I'm not the least bit concerned about my career."
Did he pray?
"I believe in a superior being, but not organized religion. But like Jean Paul Sartre, I might be an atheist but I'm more religious than most. Still, I knew I had to do this myself, it was my problem, so you look into yourself."
On the coffee table in front of him were two half-drunk glasses of an amber sparkling liquid that looked like champagne.
"No, beer to calm down," Allen said. "This is not a celebration. I didn't win the lottery. What's to celebrate about not seeing your kid for eight months? I do know now that I can persevere. And I'll have to, because there's plenty more to come."