Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, January 12, 1993 TAG: 9301120252
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: KATHLEEN WILSON
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
SOMETHING FUNNY'S HAPPENING AT SPIKE'S - DAVE BRAMMER
On any given night at Spike's, you'll find an interesting assortment of characters. But after midnight last Friday, the Grandin area watering hole seemed to have more than its share of local color.It was wall-to-wall testosterone. This is where manly men in denim and flannel smoke cigarettes, drink long-neck bottles of Bud and play uninterrupted Aerosmith and Lynyrd Skynyrd on the hi-tech juke box.
Janis was serving up the brew behind the bar. Sitting on a bar stool munching on french fries, Matt waited for his turn to shoot pool.
Matt looked like Moses, carrying a pool cue - instead of a staff - and parting the crowd when he swaggered over the the pool table after sharing a few dumb-blonde jokes.
But Spike's resident comedian is Dave Brammer, who hails from Maybeury, W.Va.
"And we don't have no deputy named Barney Fife," he said, after being introduced as a Spike's icon.
Around his waist is the ever-present fanny pack that carries three sets of darts, two rolls of quarters, a rosin bag and a Tic Tac container filled with new dart tips.
In his memory are a slew of one-line zingers that would put Don Rickles to shame.
Of the size of his hometown in West Virginia:
"The population is written on a chalkboard, and every time it rains we gotta go recount."
I'll bet his repertoire of anti-Hokie jokes rivals the number of slams David Letterman has for General Electric.
Here are just a few of the printable ones:
"How can you tell if you're talking to a level-headed Hokie? If the chewing tobacco runs out of both sides of his mouth."
"Why do the Hokie football players have TGIF on their shoes? To tell them that Toes Go In First."
He's got a million of them. This was the year, he gloats, that 1,095 straight days of football shame ended for the Mountaineers when they beat the Hokies at home last fall.
"Know what the best thing is to come out of Virginia? 460 West."
Dave declares he's a West Virginia Republican, if there is such a thing. With the new Democratic administration just around the corner, he's started fine-tuning his assortment of Clinton material.
"You know why all the people in Arkansas ate beans for Thanksgiving? They done sent their turkey to Washington!"
Dave admits there's one good thing about Clinton.
"Every 10 or 12 years we need a Democrat to come into the White House to unify the Republicans."
Ba dum bum.
Earlier at Spike's, Danny and Greg paid Janis a dollar to find out if I was that Mingling person.
If I was, then Greg wanted me to set the record straight.
Harken back to the Fourth of July. That Wasted Away Again in Margaritaville Party those Cave Spring Jaycees threw.
I made a pretty big boo-boo. So six months later, I've got to tell you that was not - I repeat not - Cindy Dagenhart's parents' home.
When her mother met me at the front door and said, "Welcome to our home!" I assumed she meant her home.
This casa Dagenhart was Cindy's very own home. And she'd just bought it.
This piece of information makes the entire party a little bit easier to comprehend.
No wonder her parents didn't mind that 50 well-lubricated Jaycees were tearing up the backyard doing kamikaze belly flops down a water slide . . .
\ THE PARTY LINE: If you'd like to invite Mingling columnist Kathleen Wilson to a party or social gathering, call her at 981-3434; when asked for the mailbox, dial MING (6464) and press the # key. Then leave a message as directed. Or write her in care of the Features Department, Roanoke Times & World-News, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke, Va. 24010-2491.